i gave you all

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Breathing had always been an involuntary thing for Lily. She never thought about whether she was doing it or not because it was just never conscious consideration in her mind.

The letter was in shreds on the floor, though Lily had no memory of ripping it apart. Her face was dark crimson as a bitter frenzy of rage trickled down her. Without any warning, she was moving, not quite walking, running or jogging, but just simply moving.

Her entire body was so charged she wouldn't even have noticed if she was hysterically sobbing, all she knew was she had to find James. She had to find him and she had to find out what the hell was going on and then kill him.

Once she reached the bottom of the stairs, Dorcas rolled into the common room with a sigh. "I may or may not have invited Cas to hang out with us. I hope you don't-" Her voice dropped when her dark brown eyes met Lily's face. "...What the hell happened to you?"

Lily rushed up to her and grabbed her by the front of her shirt. "Did you know?!"

"Know what...?"

"About my dad," Lily clarified, her face trembling, her eyes razor sharp. "Did you know?!"

"I literally have no idea what you are talking about." Dorcas mumbled, gulping and raising her hands in innocence.

Lily released her and said, "...Then it must be Marlene...or Sirius. He couldn't keep something this big...he couldn't keep this to himself..."

"Lily, you're kind of freaking me out...What is wrong with your dad?"

She couldn't say it, tears hardened in her eyes as her throat clamped up.

"Oh...god." Dorcas muttered. "So...He's...and," Her eyes fluttered to glance up at the dorm room Lily just came from, "James never told you."

"...yeah." Lily replied, her neck constricting, "I have to go to Dumbledore...I have to ..."

"Go home." Dorcas answered for her knowingly, giving her an awkward, but reassuring pat on the shoulder. "I will find and tell the others."

Lily nodded, a grateful expression flickering in her eyes, before she moved to leave.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Dorcas asked belatedly, just as Lily was about to step out.

She did. Lily wanted so badly for someone to just hold her hand, and tell her it wasn't true. That this was all some kind of sick misunderstanding, that her dad couldn't be...that he wasn't... But regardless, she shook her head and walked on.

Dorcas was terrified; this wasn't her area...at all. She immediately bolted out of the Head's dorm to the Gryffindor common room. Expecting Marlene to be there, Dorcas searched the room and didn't see the blond head she needed. Sighing, she headed up to their room hoping that Marlene had simply turned in early.

If she couldn't find Marlene there she had no idea where to look. Marlene was a fairly predictable person, she only really went one of three places and Dorcas didn't have time to go running around the castle looking for her. Her best friend was needed immediately and any time lag wasn't going to work for her. If they needed to go into battle or kick someone's ass then Dorcas could easily steam roll that idea without any help or assistance, but this, this was complicated. And Dorcas normally did everything in her power not to get involved in complicated things.

Marlene could handle this; she was practically raised from birth to be a mother with her managing and comforting skills. Dorcas was therefore overwhelming relieved when she reached their room and found the tall blond reading her potions textbook in bed.

Groaning when she saw Dorcas coming, Marlene rolled over on her bed and pressed her face in her comforter. "Dor, I get it now. I get why Lily was sobbing over school. School is pain. School is enduring, tedious, tortuous pain..."

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