The Rise And Fall Of The Stag And The Doe

Timshel

Lily didn't want to go to Hogsmeade. When Dorcas invited her to come with her Peter and Remus, but she decided to opt out of watching Remus and Dorcas fight with each other. She never noticed how much they genuinely disliked each other. At first she thought it was just another instance of Dorcas calling someone else out on their shit and it not working out so well, but it seemed to cut deeper with Remus. Maybe because everyone around him wasn't as honest with him about his flaws as say they would around Sirius or James. Either way, Lily didn't want to be stuck with that all day.

At first she just wandered around the castle. She found it was rather peaceful in the winter when everyone else was gone. Every single Christmas holiday she went home, but if her father wasn't alive, and she just had her sister to go home to she wouldn't mind in staying here in the slightest. It was so cozy sitting by any of the fireplaces around the castle and looking out the window to see the snow falling. She wasn't a big fan of being in or around snow, it always made her face grow unnaturally pale and her nose become beat red, which wasn't something she liked other people to see. Her friends teased her enough for being a natural ginger, she didn't need to give them any more material to work with.

When climbed into her favorite chair in the library, she was surprised to see Sirius Black already sitting in the chair across from her. Not that he would notice, he was staring out the window blankly, his entire appearance not as depressed as she had seen him in the past week, but still quite morose.

"Sirius?"

He blinked and looked up at her. "Oh. Hi Evans."

"What are you doing here?"

"Sitting."

"I mean, why don't you go to Hogsmeade. I thought you and Remus made up."

Sirius shrugged, "We did. He was…nice about the whole thing, but it still won't change James's mind."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

He frowned in confusion. "You know what happened?"

"Remus told me."

"And you don't hate me? …You used to be friends with Snape."

She curled her knees up into her chest and rested her head on the top of her knees. "Yeah I used to, but he's so far from the person I was friends with that it doesn't hurt me as much as it should….I saw your face when he hurt Remus. I don't approve of or like what you did, but I understand it."

"You sound like Marlene." He said, smiling faintly.

"Well she is my best friend," Lily grinned back. "And when it comes to you two, no one would no better than she would. You know, she was the one that talked to Remus in the first place right?"

Sirius's eyes watered for a flash of a second, but he looked away and the look was gone. "No. I didn't know that."

"If you break her heart." Lily began sharply. "I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to make you see what it does to her."

"What kind of revenge is that?" He almost laughed.

"Watching someone you love suffer is way worse than your own suffering, especially if you're the one who caused it." She stated simply.

Sirius's eyes flipped back onto hers. "I never said I loved her."

"I know you didn't, but you do don't you?"

"If I did, I'd hardly talk about it with you Evans." He scoffed hollowly.

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "That may be true, but it doesn't change the fact that you didn't deny it."