Imperfect

A Fresh Start

The rest of the week with my family and Jamie was perfect. We took trips to Hollywood Boulevard, the walk of fame, and even up to the hollywood sign. We spent some time at the beach and lots of time in the pool and hot tub. We had even gone for a hike which was fun. Finley and I had talked briefly about the problem, but it had ended up in a much bigger argument. We agreed to be civil for the sake of enjoying our time with my family and we would discuss it when they left. I had been dreading the moment they said goodbye because I knew it would be a couple of months before I saw them again and I was going to miss them.

We got back from the airport and I headed straight to the bedroom. I could feel the tears streaming down my face before I even flopped down on the bed. I curled into a fetal position and couldn't stop the tears falling. This week had been perfect with Jamie and my parents, and it hurt knowing I would have to wait for two months before we were reunited. Not only that, Finley didn't understand. That much had become glaringly obvious and I had no one to turn to about it. I felt so alone and just wanted to sleep until I felt better.

"Claire?" I heard Finley tentatively say behind me.

"What Fin?" I asked.

"Come here, I can't stand seeing you upset." He said sadly. I felt the bed sink under his weight, and his arm appeared around my waist. I didn't have the energy to fight with him at the moment.

"I hate it Fin." I said tearfully. "I hate it all." I wiped at my face furiously with my sleeve, trying to stop my tears from falling. Finley took my hand and stopped me, knowing it would make my face bright red.

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

"I hate saying goodbye to them. I hate missing out on time with them. I hate it. I miss them so much. Every time we say goodbye it's like I'm leaving them all over again." I said through sobs. "They were my whole life, and I feel like I've abandoned them. I'm missing out on so many important things. I haven't even met Jamie's boyfriend and they live together now. It hurts so much." I could tell he was struggling to find any comforting words as he was silent.

"I know." He said. I scoffed. He didn't know. He still had all his friends and family within minutes of him.

" If you ever want to go back Claire, I get it." He said. " I don't know exactly how you're feeling, but I know what it's like watching someone you love walk away and knowing you won't see them for a long time. I know it hurts. I had to do it every time I said goodbye to you." I sniffled slightly as the tears slowed. The aching in my chest was unbearable and I felt sick. My head was foggy and all I wanted was to hug my parents and never say goodbye to them again.

I woke with a start and realised I had been tucked into bed. I didn't even remember falling asleep. I checked the time on my phone. It was nine o clock, and my parents and Jamie would be getting back soon. I sat up in bed and hugged my knees to my chest. I rested my cheek on my knees and sighed heavily. I had no idea where Finley was but I knew I needed to be alone. I felt utterly defeated at the moment, and even though I had the world at my feet, and a promising future with Finley, I couldn't focus on it. I wished my parents would move to America. It would ease some of my heartache but I couldn't expect them to uproot their lives for me. It wouldn't be fair. They had sacrificed so much for me and I couldn't be that selfish.

"Hey you're awake!" I heard Finley say cheerfully. "Come on, I have a surprise for you." He said. He held his hand out to me, and I took it reluctantly. I followed him out of the room and downstairs. I had a piercing headache that felt like someone was driving a long nail into my skull and I really wasn't in the mood for a surprise. I just wanted to make sure my parents got home safe, and sleep. Finley put his hands over my eyes, and I could feel him shaking. What was going on. I slowly walked forward and let him guide me through the house. I had no idea where we were in the house, when Finley suddenly stopped. He took his hands away and I blinked slowly. I saw something propped up on the coffee table and walked over to it.