The Games we Play

Part 6

I had decided to get away and I had let Pac know I was going to see dad just in case there were any emergencies and he wasn't able to handle everything.
I needed to think about somethings and I couldn't do that with Luca and Lee looking over my damn shoulder all the time. I didn't want a relationship, I just wanted to have fun with no emotions involved. My biggest fear was being like my dad. I mean I love him to the end of the earth but he went from loving the woman that gave birth to me to not even being able to even talk about her.
That's also one of the reasons I needed to talk to him because I need to know what happened. Dad never talks about her, hell I wouldn't even know her name if it wasn't for my birth certificate. It never bothered me not having a mom because I had an amazing dad but now I'm just curious. When I was going through puberty he made me see a therapist and I honestly didn't get it then but now when I look back I think I should see one again. My therapist used to always tell me that I keep my self emotionally detached from others so that I can protect myself. I didn't have any friends, I mean people knew of me but they couldn't tell you shit about me and I couldn't tell you nothing about them. Pac and Keisha were my first and last friends. Hell my dad even tried to get me a dog once since I said one was cute on tv and as cute as it was in person I wanted nothing to do with it.
Stepping off the plane I turned my phone back on and saw my dads text that he would wait for me outside.

Being with my dad this past week has been amazing but he getting on my nerves. If he had to pick sides he damn sure wouldn't be on mine. He knew about me mixing business with pleasure although not to the full extent but after smacking me upside the head he made it very clear that it was my fault. If I would have set boundaries before starting anything and not given them so much access to me then I wouldn't be in this predicament. He also proceeded to tell me I play these games cause I have commitment issues. Which leads us to where we are now. In some hick ass bar throwing drinks back with these crazy ass country folk. That man had his damn nerves, pot calling the tea kettle back.
Feeling my phone vibrate for the 15th time tonight I see that it's Lee.
"What you want Asian persuasion?"
"Where'd you go I thought we were going to talk?"
"I thought I was the boss," I say with a scoff. "Plus I need to figure some shit out and I can't do that with Lucas and yo hulk ass all up in my shit." Looking up to ask for another shot I see a new bartender has arrived and he's definitely about to taste some chocolate tonight. Zooming back into the conversation I hear Lee talking shit.
"Hold up Lee, bartender can I get a origasm," I say seductively while flipping my natural big curly hair. Pushing myself up a little more on the bar I poke my chest out. He winks at me and gets to work on my drink.
"I know you not fucking flirting with someone while I'm on the phone. Where the fuck are you?"
"Thanks hun, boy you is not my man," I say tuning back into Lee. "Now when I get back we can have a real ass conversation with the three of us and talk about what the fuck is going on. Till then I'm bout to turn up and you could do whatever the fuck you gone do when I get back." With that said I down my drink and tell the bartender to meet me in the back. Oh shit I forgot to hang up. Oh well.
Shrugging I hang up and head to the back where I saw an office earlier when I went to the bathroom. I don't think I'm about that bathroom sex life in no bar. Bitches can't hold they liquor and will throw up anywhere and dudes just dirty.
Hearing someone coming I look up to see the bartender heading my way. Pulling him in the office by his flannel I close the door and lock it. Time to have some fun.

Next day....
"Get yo ass up, aye white boy you gotta dip."
Shit at least I ain't gotta kick him out. I hear him fall out the bed and rush out.
"Dad you could've left the blinds closed, I already have a hangover."
Snatching the covers off me I'm glad I got dressed when I went to go pee after our last round. I know what y'all thinking but my room is soundproof. All the bedrooms and bathrooms are in this place. And even if it wasn't I'm not a screamer, well I'm loud when it comes to Lucas and Lee. Fuck I gotta stop thinking about them.
"Yo black ass got 30 minutes to get downstairs before I drag you down," then he walks out. Rolling my eyes I hop up and get in the shower. Last time he dragged me down the stairs I had a bruise for a month.

"Pops can we talk."
Nodding he sets down his paper and looks at me.
"Sooo... umm... I was actually wondering..."
"Girl if you don't spit it out!"
"Why don't you talk about my mom, like what happened?"
"Why does it matter? You didn't need her and you got therapy to work out all that confusion."
"I got therapy when I didn't understand why I needed it. I thought therapy was about me not having friends and honestly now I see it wasn't. You knew then that I would never be able to have an actual relationship when you signed me up for therapy. But what I need to know is what happened."
"It's in the past and it doesn't matter."
"But that's just it it's not in the past. It's still very much an issue for me. You've moved on and worked through it in your way but when do I get to work through it?"
"Don't blame me for your issues with commitment."
Standing up I point my finger in his face, "are you kidding me. My whole life you've taught me to keep people at a distance and told me that as long as I care less I'll never get hurt but honestly dad who has that helped," I finish plopping back down in my seat. Yeah me keeping a distance from people has stopped me from getting hurt but it's also stopping me from happiness.
Hearing my dad sigh I look up, " your mom......"

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