Hopelessly Devoted

Chapter 12- Notes

"Hangin' Out, late at night,

I know it's so wrong but it feels so right.

Lovely words whispered in my ear,

There's nowhere I'd want to be but here..."

"UGH! No!!" I rip the page out of my notebook, curl it into a ball, and hurl it across the room.  It bounces off my trashcan, landing on the pile of other rejected pieces of paper I'd been too lazy to actually pick up.  My head collapses in shame, resting in my hands. 

Why is it so hard to write a song without sounding cheesy?!

I've been trying to write for about a week and I've made no progress. Every time I try to write something I feel an overwhelming wave of insecurity that doesn't leave until I've destroyed the evidence of my failure. The worst part is Mrs. Aslin has started to hound me to get her a song. I know she just means well and wants to see the best from me, but it's way too much pressure.

"You know what, screw this." I whisper under my breath. 

I toss my notebook aside and open Instagram on my phone. My Dad doesn't know that I have an account, but that actually works to my advantage. I can openly follow guys' accounts without fear of my Dad seeing and guessing my sexuality. Also, I can freely like guys' photos because no one knows my name. Perks of being a wallflower, I guess.

Without my permission, my fingers immediately guide me to Sean's account. There, I'm greeted with way too many photos of Sean smiling like the Angel he is. 

Most photos are with his friend Benjamin. At the movies, an amusement park, the beach, some parties; they really show how close the two guys really are. It one photo, I see Benjamin on Sean's back, both having huge smiles on their faces. They're obviously beyond drunk at some party and Ben had snuck up and pounced. His arms and legs wrapped around Sean's body, I can't help but wish it was me that was making him laugh so hard and getting to hold him so close...

*le time skip*

"Alright, Ladies and Gentlemen. Take your seats." My Dad's voice echoes across the room in an effort to catch the attention of thirty rowdy teens. As always, I'm sitting at the cool lab table with Sean to my left. Being in his presence had been a lot less awkward since we started becoming friends. We'd constantly pass notes about the most random of topics, neither of us truly interested at the subject at hand. Perhaps he should pay more attention, seeing as I'm always having to give him to most help in Chemistry, but I'm in no position to complain. The more help he needs in the subject, the more time I get to spend helping him.

"Seeing how it's already October, I feel that it's time I give out our first group project of the year."

Cue the groaning of lazy teens.

"This project will be a relatively simple one. Each pair will be assigned an element off of the periodic table. You will then be tasked with providing a detailed report on your element, including ways it is used in real life.  You will also be obligated to bring in a visual example of such use, whether it be a scale model or the actual device is up to your group and the element you are assigned. The rest of the instructions will be sent over email, and your final result is due in two weeks. Now, please send one member of each pair to grab a slip of paper that will tell you which element you have."

"I'll get it." Sean says before making his way to the front of the room. My Dad has produced a baseball cap that is visibly filled with little pieces of paper. 

When Sean reaches the hat, he doesn't immediately take one. Instead, he turns to glance at me to make sure I was watching before making a big deal out of picking one.

"Ooooooh, Gods of Chemistry and High School!" His voice bellows out like he's praying. "Please bless me with the great fortune of receiving something easy like Helium rather than some element with a stupid Latin name!" He shoots both hands into the hat, picks one, and holds it up like Simba in the lion king. "You are the chosen one!"

The class erupts in laughter, myself included. My Dad, however, is not quite as amused. 

"Sit down, Mr. Jackson." My Dad grits his teeth, trying to remain civil when he's obviously quite pissed. 

"Sorry, Mr. Harrison," Sean says, clearly not actually apologetic. As Sean comes back to our table, my Dad shoots me a look that wipes the smile off my face.

"Well, that was eventful..." I whisper to my partner.

"Don't tell me you didn't find it funny." Sean looks me in the eye and smirks. I don't respond, I don't have to. He saw the big smile he had put on my face.

I jokingly roll my eyes and playfully hit his shoulder. "Can you stop being a dork for once and tell me what our freaking element is?"

His hand shoots to his shoulder where I hit him. "Ow, mean Rabbit..." He feigns a look of hurt that would have been convincing were it not for his huge smile.

"Fine," He says as he opens the slip of paper.

"We got... Thorium. What the hell is that? Would it have anything to do with Thor, by any chance?"

I laugh. "No, Sean. It's used at nuclear power plants to create energy."

"Aw, damn. I was hoping our visual aid could be a big ass sledgehammer."

 "Unfortunately, there's no hammer. However, there is a rocket." 

His eyes shoot up at the word rocket. "Please, tell me you're not lying to me and that I get to build a rocket."

"Calm down, Rocket Man. You are not going to be building an actual rocket, but yes, Thorium is used in the making of rocketships."

I swear Sean looks like I just told him we were going to Disneyland. He starts laughing maniacally as he does a happy dance in his chair.

"Dear God, I've never been happier that you are such a nerd than I am at this moment!" He says jokingly at the ceiling. 

Suddenly, he turns to me. "I will help you with the actual progress, don't worry about that. However, can I PLEASE be in charge of building a rocket? Please, please, please?!"

Every bone in my body is telling me not to let this goofball make the rocket. I know it will end in disaster and most likely injury. But Goshdarnit if he doesn't know how to use those big puppy-dog eyes of his...

"Fine, you can build the rocket." His face lights up in pure joy. "BUT! You have to promise not to do anything too crazy." 

"Done! Oh my God, you won't regret this! You're the best!" 

Suddenly, I'm enveloped in Sean's warm arms. He pulls me into a tight hug, pressing my face into his chest as he wraps his arms around my waist.  Reluctantly, I wrap my arms around his neck, hugging him back.

"Seriously, Rabbit. Thank you."

"N-no problem." At this moment, I'm immensely grateful that my face is buried in his chest otherwise he would definitely take notice of the blush staining my cheeks.

Any regrets I had about giving him responsibility for the rocket vanishes. I push away any lingering anxiety, allowing myself to secretly enjoy the feeling of Sean Jackson holding me so close.

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Hey!

Hope you liked today's chapter. Keep in mind, I am not a chemist. Anything I say about anything science-related is 100% stolen from Wikipedia.  

Also, I'm starting to ease into Luke's songwriting a bit more. It's important to the story, but it's really difficult as I am also not a songwriter. Please forgive me as I try to find my footing in the subject. Any song I try to write will NOT be good, so fair warning :).

That being said, don't forget to vote for this chapter if you liked it.

I'll see y'all Friday!