The Only True Beauty

chapter 40

The sunshine coming through Calum's windows is what woke me up the next morning. Behind me, Calum was asleep on his stomach laying his head on his arms. Carefully, I get up and close his blinds to stop the sun from creeping in and waking him, he needed his sleep. my tired feet shuffled as I made my way downstairs to look for something to do. The kitchen called me as my stomach started to growl. It wasn't going to be easy, but I decided to make some pancakes. Calum never bought the instant pancake mix we used at my house, so I had to look up how to make them.

Gathering all the ingredients I need and struggling to make some without making a giant mess, I thought it would be funny to make one huge one and one tiny one just like he did at my place. Hopefully he remembered so he didn't get offended when I hand him a tiny pancake. Having to find everything I needed in his kitchen was exhausting, the only way I could get anything out of his cupboards was to climb onto his counters. After all my hard work, I had two plates each with a nearly perfect pancake. With Calum still being asleep, I decided to carry them up to have some breakfast in bed. 

"Good morning sunshine." I say softly as I set down his plate on his bedside table. "I made you some breakfast." I tell him and see his eyes slowly open. He lifts his head to look at the plate with the tiny pancake on it then drops his head again.

"How big did you make your pancake?" he asks mumbling into his pillow with a lazy smile on his face.

"Too big." I giggle and show him making him chuckle.

 "Thanks." he says as he sits up to eat it. I sit down on the same side I slept on as I eat mine. Looking over at him, I giggle and run my fingers through his hair.

"Look at your crazy bedhead." I tease trying to get another smile out of him. "So I figured that today we just stay in bed all day and watch some movies? How does that sound?" I ask as I soon grab his empty plate from him. 

"That sounds wonderful." He lays back down and gets cuddled up in his bed sheets.

"Alright, well you get it set up and pick a movie while I go back downstairs to clean my mess." I smile at him before leaving his room. 

. . . .

Later we were watching some cartoons together. Calum almost falling asleep with his head in my lap, enjoying me softly running my fingers through his hair. 

"Hey I have a question." I start and he looks up at me. "I remember you telling me that you write lyrics when you are sad, do you think I could maybe look at some of the stuff you wrote?" I look down at him and he points to a drawer in his bedside table.

"All of my notebooks are in there." he points to his bedside table then goes back to watching TV. "I can't warn you for what is in there though." he mumbles as I grab the first notebook I saw. Opening it, there were some lyrics to Everything I Didn't Say on the first page along with VooDoo Doll

"Who knew that my favorite song of yours was written because of her." I say with almost a chuckle causing him to simply nod. A few doodles here and there of random things such as a skull or their tally marks. Flipping through the full pages, I saw some lyrics that I knew from their songs and others I read, were too dark for a song, such as 'love is fake and this life is useless'. Some of the pages in it were completely scribbled out and ripped. 

"Like I said, I can't warn you for what is in there." He looks up at the obvious shocked look I had on my face.

"How long have you been writing in these notebooks?" I look away from the torn up pages and down at him. He just shrugs. "I'm sorry you have felt like this so often for so long." I frown.

"Its okay. I'm getting better now, I have someone I really care about here to help me." he smiles sweetly. 

"Awe, thanks Cal." I smile and put the notebook away to watch TV with him. Not long after that, we both fall back asleep.