FALLING AROUND YOU ➵ DANIEL SEAVEY ➵ SEQUEL

32 ➵ Reality Check

I walked through the front door, not saying another word to Zachary.

The anger, bitterness, was still on my lips, on my tongue I supposed too, tasting more like poison slowly killing me from the inside. The thing no one tells you about when you try to better yourself is that it takes practice, constant repetition. I'm constantly trying to be a better friend, a better partner, a better person, but people still find things to ridicule about me.

It's hard moving past your mistakes when all your mistakes are out for the public to see.

I sat on the sidewalk in front of the band's home. Their front door was shut, so I couldn't hear anymore voices from beyond.

It's terrible to say I felt trapped in that home, worst to say I feel trapped in my own life.

My life is a never ending route of judgement and criticism — one I signed up for, but I never expected it to be anything like this. I thought I would be hated on for my writing, given advice on how to better myself as an author, but instead I'm given splintering comments about personal matters. My brain felt overworked, a sudden migraine from how stressed I've been.

"Sienna?"

I looked to my side, Jonah in a sweatshirt and sleepy eyes. He looked dazed, probably a bit drowsy from their feverish night.

"I was just going to take a walk," I smiled, sheepishly.

I lied.

I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, but anywhere felt safer than inside these walls. I felt like a burden, being there when no one even ask for my presence, only staying for one boy.

He rubbed his eyes, a faint sigh from his lips. "I was just about to get coffee. Would you like to join me?"

No.

I wanted to say no. I wanted to say that I needed to be alone, think my way through another problem, curse at the world for not allowing just a few extra moments of peace between Daniel and I. However, I couldn't. There was a part of me that wanted the company — I wanted someone to stop making me feel so lonely. When you're left with only your thoughts throughout the night, the world sees so much smaller, much more isolated.

"Okay," I said softly, before following him out to the yard.

Jonah and I didn't talk too much on our way to the shop, the radio filling in the white noise between us. Really, I didn't spend too much time with Jonah. He was no where near a stranger to me, but he was probably the band mate that kept the most distance. He was the most mature out of the band, being the oldest, the wisest Daniel likes to say. We never got to opportunity to have a more prominent friendship, and that singular thought saddened me.

It took us about fifteen minutes to finally enter the place, taking our seats quickly and ordering our drinks. Jonah's was bland, a black coffee, no sugar or creamer. Like a toddler, I asked for a hot chocolate. Caffeine would have probably been an ally of mine right now, being as I had gotten no rest, but I was completely restless. It was the type of tired where you feel almost as you can't sleep at all.

Insomnia, really.

The boy looked at me for a moment, really looked at me. My drink was warming my hands as he took long sips of his own.

"You have really bad eye bags, Sienna." Jonah took another sip, speaking bluntly.

I chuckled at his honesty. "Thanks, Jonah. What a lovely compliment."