My Beloved

Chapter 4

Gianni stared at Cara Mia as she eyed him intently. He felt like she was probing his soul. Her facial expression screamed hope and something he hadn't realized he needed from her, trust.

He hated that his brother had put the decision on him. Gianni knew his answer would be no because he didn't want her anywhere near the life. Vagabond would be a front for them to smuggle drugs and money, as well as, hold some of the merchandise in the fortified and securely protected safes in the basement.

He had just met her, but Gianni felt an incessant need to protect her. He had never felt this way about any woman he encountered and there were many. Gianni had dated a lot and slept with even more, but he wanted more than a pair of legs that would open for him whenever he wanted.

He wanted a woman that would make him laugh. A woman that was smart and could handle her own. He saw all of this in Cara Mia. She carried herself in a way that let him know she didn't need him or anyone else for that matter. She was strong. She was talented. She was Italian. He thought with a smile as he watched her move.

Cara Mia walked back to her iPod and selected a song that she felt at her core was what Gianni needed to hear in that moment. A haunting beat began as you could hear Cara Mia vocalizing.

I'm thinking it over

The way you make me feel all sexy, but it's causing me shame

I want to lean on your shoulder

I wish I was in love, but I don't want to cause any pain

And if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain

Gianni felt as though something was caressing his heart. The music? The lyrics? Her voice? He couldn't wrap his mind around what he was feeling, but it scared him. As Cara Mia sang, he felt seen for the first time in what seemed like forever. She sang to a part of him that he had hidden from the world and oftentimes himself.

Baby I'm thinking it over

What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start

What if it only gets colder

Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart

Cause lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are

He watched her so closely as she sang to him. For him. Gianni was so angry he would have to be the one to crush Cara Mia's dreams of working at the club, but as the oldest he knew that's how things would always be. He was the deliverer of punishments and bad news.

He knew that she would hate him after this. Gianni wished somehow he could tell her he was doing this to protect her, but his family's dealings were a secret to most and an unfounded rumor to others.

He watched her as she looked at him and sang almost lovingly and he wanted to take her right then and there. Take her away from the madness that was the mafia and keep her safe. If I don't give her this job she wouldn't be around the life. She wouldn't be around the drugs, money and business associates. Gianni nodded to himself feeling his decision cement.

But if I do give her this job then she'll be around me and I'll be around her. I could protect her. I'm Gianni the V. No one would dare touch her if she were mine. The thought had Gianni confused. Could he be so selfish and rob her of a normal life?

There was something about Cara Mia that Gianni didn't want to lose. But there was also something about her that he wanted to protect more than his own life and both feelings scared the shit out of him. He had just met her and she did more to him than any of his exes.