oh, to dream || harry styles

ch. six

"Uh, yeah. Here." I approach him and show him my ID and he lets me through the door.

I immediately make my way to the bar, sitting on one of the stools. "Two vodka crans, please." I say and the bartender nods. I stare down at my hands and hope to God that Harry and the woman don't walk in.

  "Please, just consider it." He steps closer to me, tucking my hair behind my ear.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Harry. This isn't how it's supposed to be." I respond. Nothing I say makes sense but I don't stop.

"How what's supposed to be? What does that even mean? What's supposed to happen, exactly? You marry your abuser and have a couple kids? The abuse doesn't stop when you have a kid or two, Lillian. It gets worse. You choose to put you as well as your children's lives at risk. People can change, yes, but abusers don't." He spits like my words disgust him, or the thought of what he's saying does.

"Here you go." The drinks are placed in front of me and I thank her.

"Lily?" I hear his voice. Lily. It's so juvenile but it stings so bad. I chug the first drink and I savor the aftertaste.

"Hm?" I turn to him and his face softens when he sees me. Maybe he can tell that I've been crying. She stands behind him with a smile and I just want to slap her but I know deep down she is innocent and I have a problem.

"How are you?" He asks, I know he knows the answer.

"Been better." I shrug and down the second drink. I wave the bartender down and hold up a two with my fingers, she nods.

"I don't mean to be rude, Lily this is Nessa. Nessa, this is my friend Lily." He introduces her. Nessa. She's so beautiful and I know she's a sweet girl by the way she greets me with a hand shake.

"Nice to meet you." I choke out, barely audible.

"You too!" She waves her hand happily.

"I've heard so much about you! Thank you for being so good to Harry." She continues and I might actually be sick. This is what I deserve. I treated him like shit.

"I feel as if that would be better than this. I feel so lost, so alone. He was a part of me whether I like it or not. He was bad to me, yes, but he was also so good. He had his days, Harry! This isn't as easy and simple as you make it out to be!"

"So, what? You still love him or something? That's really fucked up, Lillian."

"Of course I still love him, Harry. He was my best friend for four years. Just because he hurt me doesn't mean anything." How could he think even for a second that I wouldn't still love Caleb? We were together for four years. I hate him, yes. But I do still love him.