5 | i want to disappear and just start over

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i want to disappear and just start over

(Hercules by Sara Bareilles)

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November 6, 1973

Hogwarts was truly mundane now that she wasn't pulled into various adventures.

Hermione was amazed how she breezed through her first year without much of a hitch. Sans fighting trolls, three-headed dogs, and an evil Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher with Voldemort's face hidden underneath his smelly turban, she was able to focus on her studies and managed to end the year as top of her class. The yearlong supply of toffee in her trunk—care of Peter—was proof enough of her hard work.

And Hermione should be thankful for all of this, because she wasn't fighting for her life or keeping her friends alive, but... but it felt normal, too normal. Hermione Granger grew up not knowing what normal was because as a Muggleborn, she couldn't understand at first why she was the only one who knew how to conjure birds out of thin air. Or, as part of the Golden Trio, she didn't have the luxury of relaxing for a day knowing that a madman was after her best friend.

She wished for this normalcy, craved for this even. After all, this reason was partly why she agreed to Harry's insane idea to drink that stupid potion anyway.

But now that she was able to achieve that normalcy... well...

Hermione sighed and placed her forehead on top of her book, taking in a deep breath to rid her thoughts of such ridiculous things. 'Just be thankful for what you have, Hermione Pettigrew,' a voice admonished inside, strangely sounding like Hermione Granger, and the twelve-year-old felt a little shamefaced.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in the silent library.

"Sorry for what?"

She immediately sat up straight and coloured when Lily and Sev came towards her table. "Hey," Hermione greeted with a smile, ignoring Lily's previous question. "You're here early."

"Not earlier than you, apparently," Lily said with a laugh, settling on the chair beside her.

"Merlin, Pettigrew, have you been sleeping at all?" Severus asked, looking at her bemusedly.

"Of course I have been," Hermione retorted, with a frown. "It's you who hasn't been sleeping properly at all, Sev."

Lily snorted and pointed her wand at the Slytherin. "He's been slaving over his extra merit potions for Professor Slughorn for days now, Hermione, I tell you," she started. "I don't even understand why he's trying to make everything perfect. I mean, he's Severus Snape for Merlin's sake! Half of the student body knows he's a child prodigy when it comes to potioneering."

"I have to make it perfect," he protested with a glare. "Slughorn expects as much."

"Professor Slughorn," Hermione corrected, prompting him to roll his eyes. "And Lily's right, Sev. You don't have to worry too much about it. It's not even graded, you know. You're just doing him a favour."

"Can we please just stop talking about what I want to do with my free time?" the exasperated Slytherin asked. "I thought you wanted to study with us because you wanted help with your Potions essay."

Hermione and Lily exchanged meaningful glances, but silently agreed they should drop this issue. Severus could be really tetchy when it came to Potions. He was often incorrigible, but when they started asking about his unhealthy obsession over brewing the perfect batch of potions, he'd be downright unreasonable.

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