Chapter 8 - Unsure and Unsaid Feelings

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××Zypher××

"I've kept us moving while you were out and tried my hardest to keep us in hotels but that hasn't always been an option," I began, watching Wild nod her head along with my words. Everyone in Serone seemed to be keen on getting to their destination quickly, making me feel a little more confident about talking about our travels. I doubt anyone would pay us a second glance.

"At one point, I tried to take a shortcut through a swamp and got attacked by a giant frog."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. And I met a talking tree," I said, pressing a hand to Wilds lower back to get her to turn in the right direction.

"So you met a dryad," Wild amended.

"Talking tree."

"Dryad."

"Talking tree," I said sternly, meeting her mock harsh gaze. She broke first, covering her mouth as giggles filled the air.

"I also found a wild boar and killed it," Wild cringed a tad, "So we have extra food just in case."

"I'll be honest with you. I'm not a huge fan of meat," Wild admitted, though I already knew this fact. She outright refused and fought against me while she was sick when I tried to feed her any sort of meat.

"You can pick leaves to your heart's content now that you're awake," I teased. I refrained from telling her about the blue haired man who had been following us. I wasn't sure how she would react. Worrying her wasn't something I wished to do.

"Fine, I will." Wild marched ahead a few paces confidently. She stepped back next to me when we got stuck in a clog of traffic. People shouted and pushed and I could tell it was making her extremely nervous.

I grabbed her arm and forced my way out of the crowd, taking us back the way we came. Wild looked behind us, confused.

"We'll find another way out. Use their alleyways to our advantage," I explained, dragging her down the first one that didn't look like a dead end.

"Are you feeling okay right now?" I asked. My voice bounced off the brick walls surrounding us.

"My head is killing me and I'm tired but amazing compared to before." I used the arm I realized I was still holding, to pull her to a stop.

"I actually have something that will help with your headache," I said, opening my bag and quickly locating the pills I picked up for this specific reason.

I held two white pills out in my palm to her. She gave the medicine a skeptical look but picked them up anyways.

"Are you sure they are safe?" She questioned. It was understandable. Two unmarked white pills could be risky.

"I wouldn't give you anything that wasn't safe," I affirmed. I paused after those words, watching her take them dry. Why did I care if she was safe? It seemed all I cared about was protecting her.

I sighed, ignored her concerned look, and began following the path of the alleys again.

A couple unsure turns later and we had bypassed the large cluster of people. I should have just walked through them but I didn't, just for her. I glanced behind, finding Wild lagging behind slightly.

"Thank you for helping me, Zypher," Wild mumbled sincerely. I faltered, only for a moment.

There was a lot that went through my brain. Confessing I wanted to take care of her. That I was glad I was able to and that I would do it again.

All of it scared me.

So, I chose the most meaningless and pulled forward all my emotionless training from my early years.

"No problem." I didn't bother catching her disappointed look. I didn't think about all the words I wished I had uttered instead.

As we reached the gate of the city, Wild rushed to catch up with me, not wanting to walk past the guards by herself.

I caught one guard's eyes, glaring when his gaze strayed to Wild and stayed there. My fingers twitched at the thought of wrapping an arm around her and bringing her close, protecting her from the strangers gaze.

I refrained. I couldn't let my feelings eat at me.

I wasn't supposed to have any.

I strode forward, using all my willpower to keep the frustrated look off my face. I couldn't help pick up more and more speed the more I thought about the feelings I couldn't have.

Feeling I didn't know how to erase.

Mental punches rained against me every time I thought about stopping to allow Wild to catch her breath.

Wild stopped abruptly, forcing me to as well. I turned my emotionless expression to her.

She was panting and had sweat dripping from the loose pieces of hair hanging around her face.

"What is your problem?" She barked, narrowing her eyes.

"What's yours?" I countered, leveling my voice to hint at nothing. In truth, I wanted to let her rest, to say sorry, to do anything.

"You don't have to help me," Wild said in between breaths.

"What are you talking about?"

"If I was that much trouble, you should have left me to the sickness. You don't have to try and run away from me now. I will gladly leave you alone." I could hear the pain in her voice and the sadness seeped in. I felt guilty, I realized.

"Wild, that's not what I was trying to do." I ran a hand down my face in frustration.

"Tell me to leave and I will." Wild crossed her arms, looking at the ground. She was trying to protect herself.

"I don't want you to leave," I gritted out, trying my hardest to hide the true, deep-seeded desperation in my voice.

Wilds looked into my eyes, searching for the truth. She sighed, shook her head, and walked by me. I followed, staying quiet, not trusting myself to say more.

The next couple towns would be awkward and tense.

And it was all my fault.

I wanted to care for her but at the same time, couldn't allow myself.

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This is trash, I hate this, die

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