Want Me Back [JenLisa]

twenty five

I felt like every air inside my body suddenly left, leaving me breathless when her doe eyes settled on mine. Her smile stretched wider, quite opposite of the reaction I expected from her.

And though she's not doing anything wrong, I still find it cruel.

It's cruel that she's not mine anymore.

"Congratulations," I said, trying to maintain eye contact.

"Thanks," she casually replied.

Just as she thanked me, the girl she was with earlier suddenly came into view. She gracefully made her way to Lisa, a huge smile on her face while her arm on her, surprising Lisa a bit.

"Hey, something wrong?" Lisa asked.

"Dad wants to introduce some people to you, if you're not busy," she politely smiled at us.

I felt a slight pang of pain in my chest with the way they looked intimate. It might just be my mind, but it felt like it.

"Of course, let me introduce you first to my friends," Lisa turned to us, "Guys, this is Hee Jin. Hee Jin, you know Mr. Im Jaebeom.... This is Rosé, Jisoo and Jennie."

We all took turns shaking her hand, and I was the last one to accept hers.

"Pleasure to meet you all," she sweetly said.

Lisa didn't introduce Hee Jin as her girlfriend... But it's none of my business of course.

When they finally excused themselves, I found myself letting out my breath that I didn't even realize I was holding.

"Are you okay?" Jaebeom was quick to stand on my side.

"Of course I am," I pathetically forced a smile, "Don't worry about me."

He didn't seem to believe me, and by now all three of them look as if they pity me.

I don't really know how I survived the night. Jaebeom goes around to talk to some people sometimes, but he always goes back to us once in a while. Thankfully, Rosé and Jisoo also loosened up a bit that we somehow managed to catch up with each other. I noticed that compared to the last time I saw them together, they're definitely a lot closer now. I'm glad.

As for Lisa, she was also very busy. It's weird, really. I never thought she'd want to be this active in running their company. I know I should be, it's what I'll end up doing after my grad school anyways, but somehow... I feel so lost.

I don't know where to start, and I don't know where I'll get the motivation to involve myself in all these. My parents are walking on egg shells around me, too.

"She's already leaving," Rosé said the moment she went back to Jisoo and I.

I didn't say anything, trying to focus on the drink right in front of me.

And they didn't have to say anything either. All I feel are my eyes burning, but I tried my hardest not to make it worst by ignoring everything around me. I just stared at my drink, but somehow even in the reflection of the glass, I can still imagine her eyes staring back at me.

~

I tricked myself into believing one day it will get better.

I know things got worse for me even after I flew back to New York. Seeing her made it even harder for me that I had to take pills just to sleep peacefully. Overworking myself isn't working anymore.

How can it get better when I'd have to face a life without her?

Are you happy, Lis?