My Kind of Woman

40. Your Tiny, Tired Soldier

I continued stroking her hair, leaning my mouth against her hairline. Her hair smelt like hotel shampoo, it was cheap and waxy, but beneath it, her scent was floral, like it was her natural body odour. I inhaled it. I kissed her forehead, very gently, then closed my eyes, and let my body relax.

Outside, a car door opened. I heard it sharply, even over the heavy drumming of rain. Then a yell broke out through the silence,

"Mio!"

I had become tense all too quickly, a skeleton lying rigidly in bed. Mio had shot up, ears pricked and eyes wide. It was a man's voice, gruff and angry; it was his.

"They're here. He's here," she whispered, eyes flicking between the window and my face – they were glossy and bright where the slit in the curtain has exposed her to the light.

I jumped out of bed, heart swelling and rising in my chest. It was getting hard to breathe as my heart beat into my throat. I hooked my fingers into the curtain opening, tugging it back slightly, just so I could see out into the parking lot. Mr. Reed's car was parked two spaces away from our apartment, engine rumbling, driver's door hanging wide open, headlights highlighting the rainfall. He was still yelling, but he was standing back from us, looking up at the floor above ours. Behind, was my dad's truck. That shocked me. It kept me from moving for a minute. With the sharp shine of his headlights and the pelting rain, I couldn't see his face, only his dark outline in the driver's seat. He'd come to get me. To take me back. I felt bile rise in my throat and I swallowed harshly. Mr. Reed's yelling was closer, and I realised then, he was looking at me. My anxiety spiked. I yanked the curtains shut, breathing hard.

I had to be calm, for Mio, who had come to my side, hands trembling and eyes still bright. So, I soothed my breaths shakily and faced her. She immediately threw herself on me, arms closing around me and squeezing, heart almost bursting through her chest with its frantic pulsing. I stroked her back. Her tears were hot on the skin of my neck, running down under my bed shirt.

The shouting was right outside our door then.

"—Open this door, Mio!"

I could hear her trying to calm herself beside my ear, and after a few moments, she seemed to compose herself and pulled back from our embrace. She looked distraught. I'd never seen her look so tiny and vulnerable, so child-like. She was trembling, her eyes were glossed over and weeping each time she blinked, her bottom lip shook with every breath. I kept my hands on her, not wanting to let go. But I didn't have a plan for what we would do next - was there even anything we could do?

Mio brought her mouth close to mine, lips touching mine but not kissing. She whispered, "I think this is it."

I was swallowing my own tears, eyes squinted shut, hoping she would just kiss me, and kiss me well, distract me for a minute. "I think so," I said in a thin voice. She did kiss me. Very gently, and kept her lips pressed against mine for a few seconds, lingering and dragging, hands on my face, thumbs stroking. I could taste salt on her mouth.

"I'll knock this door down! Open up! Open it right now!" Mr. Reed's voice parted our mouths.

"Shall I come and find you once we're back?" I asked softly.

Slowly, she shook her head, the word 'no' forming and dying wordlessly on her lips. I don't think she could say it. But despite the twanging of guttural pain within me at her response, I understood. I think I was crying a little bit, but still, I nodded soundly. I knew I couldn't come and find her, not after this.

The door started banging, violently. Mio jumped, hands flying off of my face. She was chewing her bottom lip anxiously, but she still reached for the door handle and twisted it. It swung open aggressively and Mr. Reed appeared in the doorway, chest heaving, greying hair ruffled, shirt damp and unbuttoned to his sternum. His eyes were wild, and they couldn't focus on either of us. But he turned to Mio first,