My Kind of Woman

37. What's Beyond Here?

AN; This chapter will need some serious editing, but I decided to still publish now as I won't have the chance to tomorrow. Hope you enjoy!

All too quickly, exams finished. I remembered the ticking down to zero of the hall clock, the hushed excitement, seniors tossing papers and taking photos on borrowed cameras - big clunky ones that most likely belonged to parents. But I couldn't help but be miserable. I was reluctant to join group photos. I found I didn't care whether I was remembered or not. I was quite happy to fade into the background of those who I was in temporary friendships with. Because I wasn't finishing with Jackie. We were going out the gates for the last time, arms slung around each other and cheering joyfully. I wasn't trailing after her to college and through life, like I'd always imagined. I was leaving school without her, I was walking through the gates for the last time, alone.

And to worsen my perpetually low mood, I hadn't spoken to Mio in about a week. The comfort I craved was one only she could give me, which made me feel pathetically needy. I waited very patiently by my phone for her to text or call, or drive by the house and honk the horn. I was sticking to the rule of not contacting her first unless she contacted me. But she didn't. Still, I waited.

Summer had arrived; hot and sticky as it always was in Twin. But with no friends and a lover I couldn't spend time with, I couldn't even go out and enjoy it. I'd done everything there was to do in Twin, and I had no energy to go out of town. So all day, I lay on my bed in a thin bra and pair of running shorts, flat on my belly, arms spread. With all of my windows pushed open and curtains hooked back, trying to feel the faintest lick of summer breeze. I cut my hair a little shorter, and kept it tied up away from my ears and nape. My freckles got brighter and more prominent, my skin got browner, even whilst inside. The creases of my elbows and knees glistened with sweat through all hours of the day.

A few times, I helped my dad with garden work. The backs of my arms were golden, as were my shoulders. After the weekend, I had thin white lines around my breasts and over my arms, where the sun couldn't quite reach.

I took up reading again whilst I waited for her. Getting through a full horror novel in only a few days, spanning through my endless hours of patience.

The wait paid off with something better than a simple message of encouragement; a phone call.

One afternoon as I was tinkering with the old fan I'd dragged down from the loft, I felt my phone vibrating in the back pocket of my shorts. No one called me really, so my heart instantly leapt in excitement, knowing it was her.

I trapped my opened phone between my shoulder and ear, smiling broadly and pushing the fan off to the side of the room.

"Hi," I said, flopping down on my bed.

"Hey." Hearing her voice was something I'd forgotten how much I needed.

"I was just thinking of you," I said honestly, letting my eyes fall closed. I'd hoped she had time to talk.

Mio took a deep breath in, making the line crackle. "I would've told you this in person, but I'm going to come and see you in a few days."

My stomach had deflated and sank; my heart was sitting in the back of my throat."What? Tell me what?" I asked slightly frantically.

"I've made a decision, and you're the only person that needs to know this," Mio started, "I'm going to leave here, Norah."

My heart was beating so fast I thought I'd throw up. I realised I'd been so blind with my love. I'd thought of every possibility, of everyone in my life leaving me, of it ending with us only having one another. But I hadn't thought about her leaving me too. What if in the end it really is just me - alone?