𝕎𝕙𝕠'𝕤 𝕂𝕚𝕞 𝕊𝕦𝕟𝕨𝕠𝕠?

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Akira:

Kim Sunwoo has been annoying as ever after training today. Especially upon finding out that I hated surprises, he's been constantly bugging me with surprises. When we were spending time in his room after sunset, he surprised me with a card. When I opened it, it had "You're a hoe" written on it and nothing else. I was beyond surprised and disappointed. After the talk with Sangyeon oppa this afternoon, I've been observing him to see if he shows any signs of liking me back. Sangyeon oppa claims that we have both fallen madly in love with each other. Okay, not madly but.. However, I don't think so. At least, I don't think I've gone as far as falling in love with him, per say. But I can definitely confirm the fact that yes, I may or may not have a tiny crush on the guy I once found insufferable and annoying.

Love, is a strange concept for me. I don't think I've ever loved someone in my life before. Be it the love I have for my friends, or a lover, or even my family. I never really got the opportunity to let myself love someone. I have no idea how it feels, nor do I have a clue as to what it even is. Sure, I've dated before, but that was only because I liked their personalities, or simply because of the sexual tension. None of them went as far as loving, and commitment, on a mutual basis. I've never been in a committed relationship, and I'm honestly a bit scared of commitment. The idea itself, doesn't go well with everything I have experienced in my life so far. So I really have no clue on how to comprehend a situation, where I find myself in, or wanting to be in a committed relationship. And as far as my crush on Sunwoo goes, I admit that I do feel stronger feelings towards him than my past crushes. He makes me feel things that I've never felt before.

It's hard to believe that he was once a guy I despised so much. Yet I find myself having him as a closer friend than the rest of the guys. Small things, a touch of a hand, a pure smile, his raspy voice, his little habits, they make my heart flutter. Small gestures and actions like wrapping his arm around me protectively, or a simple hug, makes an atomic bomb go off inside me. I find myself blushing around him, more often than I have in my entire life. I hate being affectionate, but I honestly don't mind being affectionate with him all day long. He makes me feel happier, fuller, complete. Maybe he really has changed me for the better. I smiled, remembering Sangyeon oppa's words from earlier. I looked briefly to my side where he was sitting, calmly focusing on eating his dinner. We were currently sat at the dining room, in the middle of dinner.

Sunwoo glanced at me and smirked. He must've gotten another stupid idea. I thought to myself. I was right, as he sat up straighter and moved his chair closer to mine. He discreetly slipped his left hand under the table, finding his way to my right hand. He interlocked our fingers, and set our hands on top of my thigh. I glared at him and whispered "What was that for?" "Remember I told you that I liked seeing you blush because of me? I'm doing exactly that." Fuck. I'm blushing again. "Ugh. Fuck you Sunwoo." He chuckled at my cussing. "Meet me tonight, my room." He winked and I choked on my ramen. "Yah, Akira are you okay?" Alex asked me, handing a glass of water to me. I immediately let go of our interlocked hands and took the glass with both hands, gulping down the water. "I'm sorry, I lost my appetite. Can I be excused?" I politely asked Sangyeon oppa, who nodded calmly.

I sent one last glare at the guy who was one day older than me. Walking out of the dining room after thanking Sangyeon oppa. I went straight to my room, climbing in bed and putting a pillow to my face. Screaming and venting to my hearts content before lying down on my back and staring at the ceiling. What am I gonna do about this guy? Moments later, I got a notification on my phone. Sitting up, I found that it was a text from Kino. He sent me a text saying "Hey. Wanted to know if we could meet up some time tmrw, before the big mission?" Kino knew about our mission, and was secretly helping along with it. I smiled. It had been a while since I last met him "Sure, I would love to. I'm free all day! Text me the details and I'll meet u." I typed and put the phone to charge. Closing my eyes, I plopped down on my bed once more until I heard a knock on the door. "If you're not Kim Sunwoo, you may come in!" I called out lazily.

And of course, the door opened to reveal none other than Sunwoo himself. I growled "I thought I made it clear that you weren't welcome here" He coughed "What do you mean? I'm not Kim Sunwoo. Who's Kim Sunwoo? Never heard of him, but he sounds like a really hot and sexy and talented and eye-catching guy." Sunwoo began rambling and I couldn't help but laugh. "If you're not Kim Sunwoo, then who are you?" I played along. He reached out a hand for me to shake "The name's douche. Kira's douche!" He smiled cheerfully. I laughed even harder at that, clutching my stomach and falling back onto the bed. Sunwoo hopped in beside me, and wrapped his strong arms around my rolling figure, holding me still. He pulled me closer and buried his face on the crook of my neck. "Yah! What do you think you're doing?" I asked the guy.

"Cuddling you." He bluntly replied. "Okay but why-" He rolled us over, putting me under him as he hovered over me. I was laying flat on the bed, as he used his hands to hold mine over my head. He hovered over me for what felt like a good few hours, observing my every movement as I watched him as well. Anticipating what's to come next. My heart was beating a mile a minute, and I was sure his was just as fast too. The next thing I knew, his lips came crashing onto mine, as we shared our first kiss. My eyes were wide open at first, but I hurriedly closed them. His soft and plump lips moved to the rhythm of our heartbeats. I could tell he had never done this before, and that he was trying. I smiled into the kiss, as Sunwoo let go of my hands, placing one hand near my head to balance himself, as his other hand explored the curves and crevices of my body. Finally resting on the side of my waist.

Intertwining my hands in his thick hot pink locks, I took the lead and deepened the kiss. Biting on his bottom lip to ask for entrance, to which he immediately responded, opening his mouth wider. I sat up as much as I could without breaking off the kiss, and rolled us over again. He sat with his back leaned against the headboard as I straddled him. My hands reached for the hem of his black t-shirt, lifting them up as he removed his hands from my sides. He lifted the shirt over his head and kissed me again, wrapping his bare arms around my torso, bringing me much closer. I rested my palms on his toned chest and tried not to moan as he began kissing down my jaw, and to my collarbones. I was very sensitive around that area. He licked and sucked at my collarbone and I let out an involuntary moan of pleasure. Closing my eyes and leaning my head back to give him more access. He smirked and tugged at the hem of my silk shirt.

I hurriedly began unbuttoning it, with him helping along while sucking on one of the many love bites he was scattering across my collar. Unable to handle it much longer, I moved his chin up and connected my lips to his. The kiss was fiery and passionate, his hands now roaming around my figure, my upper body being completely bare except for my bra. I could now feel his hardness poking at me from under his sweatpants. That was when I came to my senses. I pulled away and opened my eyes, heaving long breathes. Sunwoo was also trying to catch his breathe, his face turned a bright shade of red upon making eye contact with me. I wanted to chuckle at his cute face which juxtaposed his toned bare body and what we were doing just now. He looked at me expectantly, and I sighed, running a hand through my hair "Was this all a part of that joke you made at dinner? Was that why you were trying to have sex with me?"

I was hurt at the thought of him trying to use me. Half of my subconsciousness was warning me that he was using me. But the other part refused to believe he would do something like that. To make matters worse, he just looked at me, without replying. I sighed and got off his lap, turning around and lying down. Tears threatening to spill from my eyes. "J-just leave me alone. I need to sleep." I turned my back to him and closed my eyes, waiting for him to leave. He stayed quiet for a while before he carefully lay down beside me and spooned me. Putting an arm around my torso, and resting his head next to mine. I could feel his hot breath brushing against my neck. "Look, I'm sorry you felt that way. That was definitely not my intention. I honestly thought I was being obvious enough about my feelings towards you, 'Kira." I opened my eyes, confused. Sunwoo avoided my gaze and closed his eyes, so I decided not to pry. What does he mean?

 What does he mean?

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