FOREVER GRATEFUL

42

"Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength. "
-Corrie Boom

Bella's pov

I was sleeping on a couch like a baby, until a certain someone started poking me.

"Ellllla wake up!!" He was whisper yelling at me, "Whatt" I replied annoyed already because he disturbed my precious sleep. Well I did disturb him too but that doesn't mean he should've taken revenge like this.

"I need your help" he pouts, holding his books in his hand, "I don't understand anything without you now. And I can't afford failing because you know I promised my father."

I glare at him, "You couldn't have waited for me to wake up?"

"Hmm I could have, but I didn't want to. I missed you!" He says and chuckles a bit.

"Yeah right" I said with face palming myself and continue, "Go get me something to eat first, and then I'll decide whether I want to teach you or not."

"I knew you would say that, considering how food is the only thing you think about. I already asked Donna before waking you up." He chimes.

I smile, he knows me too well now.

"Okay tell me what you wanna understand?" I ask him and this goes on for hours until we both are exhausted. He did try to steal away my food but obviously couldn't because I didn't let him.

Things have changed so much, in the past year. It's crazy to think that so much has happened.

I have changed so much, I wasn't like this, I didn't use to go crazy over food rather used to ignore my hunger and starve myself at times. I didn't use to sleep this much but now I love having a good sleep. I was fine with the idea of being alone, but now I hate it. I have grown and matured so much in just a single year.

"Ella you okay?" Xander asks once he notices a frown on my face. "Yeah I am fine, was just thinking how much a year can change you" to which he nods.

"Ella you don't need to get worried about you becoming fat okay? I won't leave you because of that ever. I'll always keep on feeding you like this." He jokes to cheer me up, which earns him a glare from me.

"HOW DARE YOU CLAIN" I yell at him, and hit him hard with a pillow, "how can you call a pregnant women fat?"

"Heyyy am sorry was just trying to make you laugh." He looks at me and apologizes.

"Yeah well, I am mad at you now." I tease him, which makes his smirk return. "I know how to change that." He answers.

"How?" I ask confused as hell what he meant by that. He answers me by tickling me everywhere knowing that I am a very ticklish person.

I keep on laughing and begging him to stop, "oh god yes Xan I forgive you. Me no mad no more. Stop stop pleaseeee." Are some of my words to him.

He finally gives up and starts laughing. "Me no mad no more?" And he laughs even more.

"Oh shut up.!" I reply making an annoyed expression on my face. "Aww you mad again sweetie? Should I make you laugh again." He chuckles.

"Am never talking to you again." I huff at him.

"You are so cute Ella. So freaking cute!" He says and hugs me tightly, I hug him back.

I have hugged Xander before, but none of them felt like this one. Both of us go completely silent and just keep holding on to each other for a moment. This feeling is like the one I used to have with Jacob. But this is wrong, it can't be the same one. This can't happen.

Thankfully Xander breaks our hug and smile at me. "Have you thought about a name for our baby?" He asks me. 'Our baby' he has never said this before, I know he considers the child as his own but it's still weird to hear it. I have always referred this baby as mine and Jacob's. But I guess I was wrong, This is our baby, it's his too. He has given up a lot just to support this child.

"Nope not yet. Have you?" I asked him curiously.

"Not really but I wanted the name to start with the letter 'J' for Jacob." He speaks and looks at me directly, I know he suffers from this loss as much as I do, maybe even more than he shows.

I smile and reply, "That's great. We'll definitely name him or her with the letter 'J'."

I can see the pain in his eyes, wishing that Jacob was still here among us. I know because I wish the same.

But I have learned to accept that this wish of mine can't be granted. Coming in terms with reality is important. Being grateful to have Xander right by my side is important.

I don't know what I felt earlier today when we shared a hug, but I do know that if this is what I think it is I'll have to ignore it.

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Any suggestions for gender reveal? Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl.
Any name suggestion with the letter J?
Thankyou for taking out your time and reading this, hope you liked it💜