Life is a school.

Welcome to New Orleans

E R I C ' S P O V
"Welcome to New Orleans" says a big green sign next to the road. It was about 2pm when we finally arrive, my legs hurt and I'm really tired. We crush at my friends house, I got to know them back in College. They are kind of fucked up but what should I say? I lost my job, I have no fixed home, I have a Van and some left overs from Starbucks. That's currently all I own. Kind of depressing when you look at the situation from this angle. I drive to their flat, Violet and Paul studied chemistry and art at my university. I mean they work and have control over their life but to be honest they kind of are not functioning without drugs any more... The area where they live looks run down and the streets are dirty. Lilith looks at me: "this looks like the street my best friend in Montana lived in." She says this with a small smile on her face. "Why are you smiling?" I ask her. "Because it feels homely here." Lil replies and hides her face with her sleeve. Lilith was scrolling through SoundCloud when she made a discovery: "Oh damn Ghosty your songs have thousands of clicks!" Her eyes shine bright and her mouth is wide open. "Oh wow let me see!" I take a look and she was right. They have about 35.000 clicks and my heart started racing. "Congrats Ghosty!" She smiled at me and kissed my cheek. I see Violet coming out of the apartment building up to my car. „I saw you two coming and had to greet you. I'm Violet, you must be Lilith, right?" she gives Lilith a handshake and smiles. She looks better than expected: „You look good Violet!" I tell her and she scratches the back of her head: „yeah, I quit some drugs. I feel much better now!" Her hair is long and blond, her eyes are greenish and she wears a loose colorful dress with some high colorful socks. „Let's go inside, it's hella cold!" she says and we pack a back for two days and go upstairs. Paul is sitting on the couch and is reading a book about chemistry: „Eric! And you brought a little friend?" he smiled at us and came to welcome us with a big hug.
Instead of Violet looks Paul much worse than I imagined. He has his long hair tied in a greasy bun and he shaved the sides to a sidecut. His long shirt is not flattering his body and his sweatpants look several numbers too big. I started to stumble: „yeah... Um hi this is Lilith but you can call her Lil." he nods: „Hey Lil how a' you doin?" Lilith grabs my hand and runs through her hair: „to be honest I'm really tired" she let's out a little laughter. I look at her and role my eyes: „you slept during the whole drive here!" It was true she almost slept the entire time and her eyebags were smaller than usually. „I already guessed so, you can crash in our second room. Eric you know we don't have a lot for a living but I managed to get a mattress for you." he says this with a slight undertone of embarrassment. „Thank you, thanks for everything. You don't need to apologize in any sort of way." I meant it. I was very happy to be here with Violet and thankful just for having a roof for a day or two.

Lilith's POV

We stayed at their place for three days and during those hours Eric's songs exploded on the web, so we decided to shoot a video for some of his tracks. Two guys texted us yesterday, they were called the $uicideboy$ and they're actually living in New Orleans. They were asking if we'd come around and maybe they could produce some stuff together and help Eric with some videos. I was happy and excited to meet them but Ghosty wasn't going for my vibe. He thought they would be like the typical rap guys and that they wouldn't fuck with one another for sure. I think his thoughts are not really fitting. Yes Eric and I aren't the stereotypical people but at least giving them a chance would be appropriate.
So we went to their house, it was in the 7th ward of New Orleans and it was one of those typical small shotgun houses.

The two boys, I assumed they were brothers, seemed every nice. They are also not really the typical person you thought was in the rap game. This dude, I think his name was Scum or something like that, he had a little set up on his laptop where he would produce the beats and the other one. He reminded me of a cherry so I called him cherry. I am a looser when it comes to names and they must be annoyed of how often I asked. But it was a good day.
Eric has been staying there for a couple of days and he got invited to quite some shows all around the country. He was the next big thing in the underground rap world. I am afraid, that he might change, that he is becoming fame and let me fall.
It is the end of the summer and the trees of New Orleans turn into beautiful fall colors.
The city almost seems quite, right now I hear no shootings, no cars, no one is screaming over the whole street and I find peace. I closed my eyes, it is around 9am.
I am not in school, I quit. Thoughts of the future drown my head with a terrific image of me becoming a no one.
Of me being a no one. No graduation, no college, no job, no family.
I might become like my parents, screaming at each other every day, wasting my time in alcohol or other drugs. Looking at my daughter, that never cared of herself. Because I have no job, I start my day with a shot of vodka and eating the leftovers of yesterday's dinner. We ordered Pizza, something rare because we cannot afford going out a lot. We are poor. Just me and my kid, no husband. Trying to survive over and over again. I can't find a job, I have no degrees, no qualifications and I never had one, so everyone tells me I can't find a job with no experiences at the age of 32...
My eyes rapidly open, it was like I needed to get out of this daydream. I was desperately trying to escape these thoughts. These images inside my head. But I knew the problem. I knew what was the only way to make them go away. And I knew that I'll have to make agreements with myself. Because I cannot continue like this.

~Thanks for the wishes, I might continue this story now. Update on my mental health, I am feeling better but I quit rehab. But it is getting better.~