Life is a school.

River

*The following chapter could be triggering to some people. I will make another TW when it comes *

A few days have passed and Eric is back from Los Angeles. He seemed to enjoy his trip even though something must've happened.
I can feel it, it's something. But I don't know what.
It's this feeling, the vibe he's giving me. Everything he does feels like an apology or like I earned it. These days I hate to spend time with him because he makes me feel guilty. But for what? Have I done something? Did I change? Is it about me?
All those questions surround me when I'm with him. Every time he touches me a cold shiver runs down my spine. I hate this.
I hate being like this.
Why am I like this? Will he leave me if I won't change? Is it because I'm like this?
Am I in a Circle of desperate thoughts or is this just normal? Are these questions normal?
Am I still in love? Why do I think stuff like that? Why is this room giving me no space? Why does my throat hurt? Why am I shaking so bad? Is this a dream? Am I a nightmare to him? What have I done? What do I have to do to make it stop?
I open my eyes, I'm in the back of the truck where I laid down when it was still light. Eric is somewhere, I don't know where. I just told him that I'm really tired and I need a nap. I open the trunk and start running. I don't know where I'm heading. I'm just following what feels right at the moment, what my intuition tells me to do. I continue. And continue. And continue till the sweat on my forehead is dripping down to my chin. The world tells me to stop but I don't. I keep running not wondering where I am or what I'm suppose to do here. I'm near a port. I can smell the river, the fish and the air gets colder as closer as I get to the edge of the port. I look around me, the normally so crowded place feels lonely. It must be late otherwise people would still wander around. But I haven't seen a single soul in quite some time. Just bodies but not one person.
They're all lacking that. Personality.
My mind starts wandering again but I just listen to my thoughts like they are clouds about to leave my horizon. A car passes but I don't mind. I look at the deep dark river, it seems way too peaceful but it's still so deadly.

*TW*
The same car passes again and is becoming slower and slower. Could it be a friend of scrim and Ruby? Or maybe it's them. I turn around and I see a truck full of men, like three. All wide build.
"Hey pretty lady, how is it gouin? What ar' you doin so late here?" The one guy in the passenger seat asks me in a Russian accent. He is pale, his head a shaved and his face looks not really friendly.
I just shake my head and continue to stare at the water.
I hear a car door close and suddenly feel Someone grab my arm. "Leave me alone" I say while hiding my eyes. I already had teary eyes and I in this moment I don't want to show how vulnerable I am.
"Little Ledy, coum doawn. It's just your frieand Vladim. No nead to cray!" He smiles still holding my arm very stiff and slowly runs through my hair. I start to get nervous, I can feel how my heart is already racing and I try to punch everything that comes near me. "Woah, Woah, woah. Why you so niervous? Noting is goin tu heappen. I promise! Leat me just bring you to ma friands! They're also really naice!" He continues but the world around me is pressing me to the floor. I just stand there not able to do anything. All is suddenly so unreal. So strange. I feel like the words are not English, not real. Not from this earth. This is a nightmare, I just need to wake up. Please wake up body, please!
"Coam wif me youang ledy! Сергей помоги мне с ней!" It's all not stopping. Why is it not stopping? Why is nothing stopping? Why am I not waking up?!?
The only way I know how to help myself is to jump. Jump in the river and hope this will help me.
I hear two shots, in the corner of my eye I can see the bullet passing right next to me. It's so fast everything is going slow but the bullet is not in that timeframe. It's like realities cross and in the one reality I'm dead the bullet must've hit me and in the other one I live. At this stage I have no idea if that gun shot is my savory or my end... My thoughts are not fast enough for this reality. It's like everything is so slow it's not even moving. Everything around me stopped. Nothing is moving and no one is breathing, talking or thinking. Everything is too fast to move. It's still. Silent.
Bang. Another gun shot. Bang.

Scrim's POV

"Yo motherfucker, you had one job to protec that innocent girl and you fuckin' wrecked it dude." My harsh voice hallows through the hall of the emergency hall of the east hospital. My hands are already red from me pressing them to handle my anger. "Do you even know what happened dude? All I can see is that your drunk ass is not coming along with the fucking fame." I wasn't waitin for a fucking answer, he doesn't deserve any explanation.
"Well I came here to see MY girlfriend and look after you. Not getting screamed at by a fucking heroin junky! Yes man, I know what you've been takin all the time. No secret. I don't got a fuckin problem." Says this guy a bit taller than me, but no soul. Ghoste or Eric or the fuck whatever comes near me and punches me in the face: "don't get involved in my fuckin relationship. She's my bitch not yours." I hear my jaw crack and stabilize it with my hand. I take another look filled with hate at him and sit down in the waiting lounge: "She is not a bitch. And the fact that she called me for help not you says it all." I look down at my phone and open instagram scroll a bit and see that he is still looking at me with his eyes so white but so filled with hatred and anger. It's disgusting.
A young lady in a white doctors gown enters the hall, she looks stressed out. Her eye bags are not to unnoticeable and her stare seems tired: "Scott Arceneaux?" I nod and stood up, with a slightly annoyed expression I look at Eric to get the fuck up as well.
She continues: "Miss Ridley is now stable, she got shot in the leg but it will heal just fine. Also her arm is broke someone must have squashed it... it's good that you were there so quickly! She could've died of the bleeding. She must be glad to have such a good boyfriend!" She smirks nicely. "Oh... I'm no" I try to explain but I get interrupted by Eric screaming at the poor soul: "Who the fuck your calling her boyfriend?! I am! Yes ma'am not that motherfucker. He's just a dumb junky." He literally attacks her for just being maybe a bit "too nice". I tore them apart, trying to hold him back: "be fucking grateful that Lilith didn't die and don't you dare to even touch a single drink."

*I tried something new I hope you liked it. If you want you can comment or something. Also check out my art page on Instagram: @jilcleve.art *