CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Pursuit For Perfection - by FirstNailInTheCoffin

REVIEW DONE BY : AimForTheTop

Summary :

Frank Milner is in search of perfection, he falls in love with Taylor, and apparently his search comes to an end, as he found the embodiment of perfection herself, the girl he fell for.

Blurb :

It was very clear, you explained the story's actions perfectly and didn't give extra information. Meaning the blurb was clear but still some actions turned out unexpectedly. However, there was nothing about Frank Milner himself, we know he is on a search for perfection, but who is he, doctor ? Psychopath ? Geologist ? Teacher ? We still have no idea what's his daily job, and no idea why is he in search for perfection, is it some psychological issues he has ? Maybe he just wants to feel complete, that has yet to be specified.

Chapter 1 :

I liked the start of the chapter, the description is good it's also very specific and it pictures the events well, we had a view of Frank's desk, his workplace maybe ? Anyways, a picture was drawn there. We met the perfection ; Taylor too. However, i have several comments on that, even tho i quite liked the start, i am interested in seeing a bigger image. What was Frank doing before Taylor came in ? Was is some kinda paperwork ? If you want to keep that start, maybe add something like "Frank let go of the papers he was signing to look at her....".
How could we make sure if we never learned where the actions were taking place ? This could be Frank's workstation, but it also may very well be somewhere else. Too many options and not that much of an explanation.

I liked the description that you used to embody the perfection Taylor represents, but it also lacked some details, we can picture the lips and the figure, but nothing about her facial features was revealed, maybe her nose her hair, add a lil bit to the mix. Why you ask ? Well if she is perfection, then i am sure the readers would be interested in knowing more.

It is very clear that Taylor is also in love with Frank, since she was ready to go through extreme pain only to please him, without even arguing, her personality is developed well, from the small dialogue, i could pick up many details about her as a person/character. I can tell she is very caring, since she wouldn't leave before asking if Frank needed anything else, as well as her being in love for the reason i cited earlier, i can tell she is confident and has full trust in Frank too, since she didn't question his request and acted it out, she didn't care what would that mean about her fate and all, she only acted and didn't have to think twice.

I am interested to see what the world of "Pursuit for perfection" has to reveal, it is not an ordinary human interaction world, if it was then perfection wouldn't be possible, however i do believe it happens in some technically developed world where technology rules, i may have an idea to where that world was inspired from, but i do want to explore the corners of this world, maybe add that there was a tv in the room, the channel was giving info about the technology's evolution, just to give a wider idea.

From what i could gather, Taylor isn't a human being, she has been made to be perfection, her bones get broken yet she's still alive, she has been practically dead, yet revived. She also somehow has emotions, which are never found in any kind of different beings, robots for example do not have feelings, however, Taylor has some serious emotions, she can sense all the pain even tho she doesn't cry, we can still picture her agony. She was made to be pain and pleasure at the same time. I would love to know more about her structure. GIVE US MORE !!

Frank also seems to have serious issues, he is overly obsessed with her perfection that he doesn't see what kind of imperfection he creates himself being such a bad human being, hurting the person that supposedly meant the most to him. On that note I would like to point out that we never learned what Frank actually looked like, his description was practically inexistent.