Review done by chaotic_naturx
BEFORE READING
The cover's not very eye-catching and the title is just bland. You could mix it up a little bit, name it something totally absurd or totally normal, but just not Poetry Journal. For the cover, you could make it look a lot prettier and a lot more eye-catching. I recommend going to a graphic shop. We have one in this community! Check it out!
To the blurb! Oh, that's a small one. Maybe, instead of point-blank telling us that you write these poems at 5 am, you can write a poem about it. That would be quite the original blurb!
WHILE READING
That Very Vivid Dream
It's so good! I love all the repetition! But, I did notice a few mistakes...Most of the first letters on the line are lower-cased, but some of them are upper case. Consistency is key when it comes to poetry! Also, in stanza 6 and 8, the format is different from all the other stanzas. I suggest you fix that! On to the next poem!!
Not Beautiful
This is absolutely beautiful and heartwarming. Even though it's so short, it is absolute perfection when it comes to content! But, I did notice a couple of unneeded commas, but they're very minor mistakes. Also, the last line of stanza 1 is a bit spaced out from the above lines. I found that to be a little awkward, so also fix that if you can. I loved this one so much! It was so inspiring!
The Bookstore
I love that the whole poem is a conversation between the bookstore owner and the "sir". Quite inventive of you! I also like the capitalization of every other line! It adds a nice touch! But, you slipped up once on stanza 5. I recommend fixing that! Something else you can change. "Who am I stop your view": this doesn't make sense. It needs a "to" in-between "i" and "stop". I understand that it might be because of syllable usage, but still. It's just weird without the "to". Next chapter!
When Art Becomes Science
Another short, yet powerful one! You are so talented! I don't think I found any mistakes in this one! It is just so amazing! I love the way you worded everything! And the way you structured your sentences! Phenomenal!
Rust
I love that you capitalize all the 'Yellows'!! But, you missed one in the second line of stanza 1. Also, the rust kind of came out of nowhere. That doesn't really make sense. Unless you're trying to say that the bad comes out of the blue. If that's the case, then it was done masterfully! You literally just went right from good Yellow stuff to bad rust stuff. Masterful!
AFTER READING
I really enjoyed reading this! But, you really need to go through your poems again and look for the mistakes that I mentioned! I have full faith that you will improve in no time! I plan on continuing the anthology! How could I not? You did such a swell job on it! Best luck with your future chapters!
YOU ARE READING
CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)
Random❝ 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧. 𝐀 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐧𝐞𝐰. 𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐨𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 ❞ Hello there, youngling! Before you go running along why don't...
