CLN's Seasonal Reviews (CLOSED)

Legend of FIVE: Shadow in the lake

Reviewer: PurpleHyacinth007

Author: Blackwriter09

Thought on the title, cover, and blurb:

Firstly, I love the cover and title of the book. I know how hard it is to draw digitally, so kudos to the designer for drawing it up. The only thing I'm going to point out about the cover is the typography. Maybe try changing it to something that's more elegant, like cursive or a handwriting font, to match with the genre of the book. So, I give the cover a 4/5.

The blurb is the second selling point of the book, the first being the cover of the book, and your blurb is really good. It does a great job at reeling in readers. You gave them enough to intrigue them but left enough mystery to make them want to read more. I quite liked it, so I give it a 5/5.

My thoughts on the first five chapters I read:

Okay, now let's talk about what I thought of the first five chapters of the book.

The opening of the first chapter was pretty good. I like how you started with a brief summary of the previous events and then jumped right into the story. The flow of the plot was very good, it was super smooth. I felt nice while reading the story and did not think 'let's finish up with this review quickly". Also, I love how you ended most of the chapters on a cliffhanger. Cliffhangers are good for the story as they make the reader want to know about what happens next and the cliffhangers you write are good. So I give a 5/5 to all of them.

Now, coming to the grammar and vocabulary of the story. It was...magnificent! I love the good use of vocabulary. The right words are used in the right places and paired with the good grammar used, it makes the story flawless. There are no trivial spelling mistakes either. So, I give a 5/5 for the grammar and vocabulary too.

Next, I'll talk about the dialogues. They were short and understandable. Not too complicated and neither too empty. I give them a 5/5.

All I'm concerned about is the lack of detail in the action scenes and while describing a character's feelings. It felt like you just 'told' the action scenes and did not 'show' them. It did not have that 'feeling' factor, something that makes the readers 'see' what is happening. For this, I advise that you try to describe the action parts a little more in detail.

For example, when you write "He swung the sword.", try to describe how they did it, like, " He swung the sword so skillfully, it felt like he had been practicing it for years." (sorry, I'm not that good at writing, so this is just a sloppy example).

Now, coming to the way you described the characters' feelings. Again, I felt like you didn't describe it in detail, it didn't have the 'feel' factor. Next time, try to describe the character's feelings a little more in-depth so that the readers can understand and 'feel' what that character is feeling. Like, instead of saying, "She felt empty." try describing her emotions in a little detail, like, "She felt like something important had been taken from her and she could do nothing. She felt like a house without any belongings. She felt empty, lonely." (again, I apologize for the sloppy example cause like I said, I'm not so good at writing).

So, due to this issue, I give you a 3/5 in detailing. I'm sure You'll be able to make that a 5 too with a little more practice, though. :)

Now, let's talk about character development. The character development in this story was good. Everybody's introductions are clear and their personalities are unique as well. I like how everybody reacted realistically in chapters 3 and 4 when they found out about Trevor's powers and how in chapter 4 everything that Rebecca felt was also actual. I give the character development a 5/5 too.

So, I liked the story very much and I would personally give this book an 8/10 as a whole, the withdrawal of 2 points only because of the detail shortage and the typography on the book cover.