Aliens: My Alien, Daeus

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Edited: 5-21-24

Void's POV

He left.

I didn't understand. I stood there, standing as Daeus climbed down the stairs and into the dark and the hatch closed. The ship felt emptier than Quill's heart despite Yupo and Raywr still being here. We sat in the dark by the control panels in silence. Yupo's breathing was calm, but Raywr's tail was flicking in fear and her eyes didn't leave the hatch once.

My stomach was knotted in worry, fear, and pain. I could barely move as we sat there. Yupo's arms were around me and I didn't know if she was trying to comfort me or herself. Daeus had left and somehow, it didn't feel like he was coming back. The surge of emotions he'd poured forth right before he left had stunned me. It was like he was saying goodbye.

I couldn't handle it.

The silence was deafening, the weight a burden. I didn't even know what was going on. All I knew was that mostly everyone had left the ship with Daeus. The only sound was the ticking of a clock, one that I couldn't even read because Honeycombs read time differently. The ticking was like an ominous warning, a message that I couldn't quite make out.

It wasn't until the whole ship was alight with bright red, dark orange flames and a white glare. The sound that penetrated through the ship was shattering and I jumped to my feet, my heart beating as if it was a racecar. Yupo and Raywr jumped up too, startled by the explosion.

Staring out through the window, flames taller than the tallest Honeycomb building licked at the atmosphere. The white that surrounded the flames was brighter than any sun I'd ever seen and I couldn't look for long. For some reason my whole body was shaking and my heart felt like it was being squeezed and pricked and crushed all at the same time. My breathing was erratic and every fiber in my being hurt. I hurt, my brain hurt, my heart hurt.

The ship shook and Raywr was letting the stairs down. I stood frozen as only four Honeycomb climbed the stairs with two of four Sabers. I ran to the stairs before they could closed and looked down. My wings were burning to leave the ship, but I was grabbed by Yupo. The stairs started to close and the hatch shut in a loud clack. The silence was no longer deafening, but the feeling inside my heart was.

My whole body shook with a feeling I'd never experienced before and for the first time I regretted the cover over my stinger. I wanted to lash out at someone, anyone, and I didn't know why. I wanted to scream and cry and die all at the same time. The pain that ripped through me was too much to bear and I stopped moving all together, staring blankly around me.

Where was Daeus?

Looking at the returning Honeycombs, I recognized Deodiar and Roo, a mated pair. Both were severely injured, but their Saber's were in worse shape. Beside them were Benji and Kett and Benji was leaning heavily onto Kett, who was standing taller than the others. Benji's eyes were half-closed and his breathing was ragged. A nasty gash in his chest was still seeping blood and Raywr ran to him, taking him from an injured, grieving Kett.

Yupo still had a hold of me, but it was like she wasn't there. One thing was clear. One thing was painfully obvious.

Daeus was not here.

"What . . . happened?" Yupo's voice was timid, like she didn't even want to talk. I was numb from my head to my toes. My wings and tail were limp as everything inside of me felt broken. I felt empty, desolate. My mind could not comprehend what was right in front of me. Daeus was gone. He wasn't here.

"Daeus told us to get out when the counting started," Roo was the one who spoke. "There'd been more than we thought, but we were winning. We lost Icicle and Newtiom before the explosion. Oppe was overtaken by the Krovlotts as we were trying to leave."

Roo looked down, his eyes glancing at me.

"And," Yupo's grip on me tightened, yet it was like I was slipping from my own body. I didn't have to understand them to know what Roo was going to say next. "What about, Daeus?"

Roo's eyes met mine this time. "He went inside the control room . . ." The male coughed, wincing as he did so. "He didn't come out."

Yupo's cry confirmed the worst. I was dropped from her hold, but I could barely care. I laid on my back, staring at the sky through the window. My heart felt like it had stopped hours ago. I felt like I had stopped hours ago. My whole purpose for living was gone. My heart was shattered and as I tried to search for anything inside of me that would tell me Daeus was okay, I came up empty.

Empty.

Empty.

Empty.

Someone scooped me up from the floor, but I was far too gone to realize who it was. I was seeing and hearing everything, but my brain felt like it had turned off. My body didn't feel like my own anymore. I didn't feel alive anymore.

I had no reason to be alive.

~~~~

The return trip was spent with Yupo holding me and not letting go. It was probably for the best.

While everyone was healing and getting us back home, I could think of nothing but dying to join what I had lost. Nothing could save me from the despair besides what had once been, but was no longer here.

Back at the planet, I barely registered the greeting we got from the bright pink leader. I barely registered the exam from the vet or the two weeks that went by while I was kept alive . . . not by my own will, but by Deodiar and Roo who had taken responsibilty over Yupo and I. I hadn't eaten since he'd left me. I hadn't slept. I've been in a state of eternal despair. My body was numb to everything but pain and I could see the sad glances everyone gave Yupo and I.

We were lost.

I was broken.

~~~~

Another week and I was being taken out of the room I'd been in for days. Deodiar was holding me as Roo supported Yupo in walking. I didn't know where we were going, but when the waterfront met my eyes and the dark, dreary air of everyone that surrounded us gave me a firm idea of what was happening.

A funeral.

I remained passive and motionless as flowers were put on a boat with a picture of Daeus on it. There were other boats for the others, but my eyes remained on Daeus' picture. My heart was numb to the grief the other's felt. Instead, it was hardened by the void of not having the one thing that made me feel safe. It was hardened by the loss of the only thing that I . . .

That I loved.

As I stared at the picture, I wished I could go to the boat. I wished I could go and lie down beside his picture and sail away to sea to waste away. It was better to die than to continue living. Daeus was my sun, he was world and my heart and now he was gone.

If I could, I would join him, wherever he is, but Deodiar was always watching me. She was always making sure I stayed alive even though she most likely knew that I couldn't live without Daeus. What I was existing through now was just existing. I was nothing more than a speck in life, a minor inconvience to those around me. Daeus was gone, so I had no purpose. Daeus was gone, so my life had no value.

As I watched the boat float out, further and further into the water, it was like everything stopped. Reality was a slap that I'd been given too many times and for one last time, it'd come down and awoken me like a punch in the gut.

Daeus . . .

Daeus was dead.