Who He Is(A Trans!Alex AU)

Chapter Dix-neuf

"Are you ok?" John asked, seemingly unfazed by this architectural masterpiece.

"You didn't tell me Thomas lives in a fucking mansion," I gaped.

"Oh- I didn't think I had to."

The way he brushed off my remark almost startled me. That was uncharacteristically John.

We walked to the door together. I knocked.

There was some rustling, the sound of something metal hitting the floor, a few curses thrown at someone, and then the click of the lock turning before Thomas opened the door.

"Hey y'all- come on in- ignore my dumb ass sister while she breaks the whole fucking kitchen," he said, each word louder and louder to make sure his sister could hear.

I had to snort as a feminine voice shouted a lovely 'fuck you' from wherever the hell Thomas's kitchen was.

The three of us entered the house and holy mother of shit it was even bigger on the inside- there is no way I could possibly describe to you, dear reader, just how marvelous the interior of this place was.

Jesus Christ.

Thomas led John and I up two flights of stairs and down a long hall to what was, presumably, his bedroom.

When I tell you Thomas's room could have been a library, I mean it. There were shelves lining every single wall of the room, all filled to the brim and then some with what was probably thousands of books in all colors and sizes- each of them looked worn as if they had been read one hundred times each.

There was a single window lighting the room, only making it look more magical.

I nearly swooned.

It's official. Thomas is husband material.

Beneath the single window in the room was a king-sized bed- that was where we all sat. Except for Thomas- opposite of that bed was a dark oak desk, matching the wood of all of the shelves throughout the room- he pulled the chair away from that gorgeous desk(I was nearly drooling over this entire room by this point), sitting in front of John and me.

"So," Thomas started.

I swallowed.

"So," John repeated.

Silence.

I realized they were both looking at me.

"Oh- I- um... w-well I..." I chewed on my lip out of nervousness. John rested a hand over mine briefly.

"Take your time," he smiled reassuringly.

That gave me a bit more confidence. "I don't know if you two would want this- hell, I'm barely certain that I want it- but... I would like to... join your relationship. And- and be your boyfriend." I cringed as the word left my mouth, able to meet the gazes of neither John nor Thomas.

I felt like their eyes were burning holes into my head. Thomas spoke again first.

"Well, I'm for it. I mean, I've never done anything like polyamory before but it's worth a shot, right? I'll try anything once."

My heart leaped into my throat. That's one down.

"John?" I prompted, gazing briefly at the freckled man, who looked deep in thought.

"Hmm... I'm not sure."

My stomach dropped. "What do you mean?"

"I've never done anything like that. I'd be inexperienced. I barely know anything about polyamory in the first place- I'm not saying no, but I think I need to look a little more into it on my own before I come to a conclusion."

Thomas nodded. "That's a good point. Research is your best friend in situations like this."

"Mhm. Don't get me wrong, Lex, I like you- I really do- I just want to be sure I'm making the right decision for myself- for all of us."

"Of course," I nodded in understanding. "No problem."

John got up. "I should actually get home before it gets to be too late- I'll let you guys know when I come to a decision." He gave Thomas a quick kiss and then walked out the door.

Thomas and I sat in silence for a bit. It had to have been five minutes later when my heart started to pound and I stood up in a panic.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, running my hands through my hair. "Dammit dammit dammit- you're an idiot, Alex! A damned fool!" I whispered harshly to myself, staring hard at the open doorway of Thomas's room.

"Woah hey," the taller man stood up with a frown. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"No, I'm not- I'm stupid that's what I am."

"Hey relax- it'll be ok- you didn't say anything wrong. I'm glad you told us how you feel. And John didn't say no, he just needs to do some thinking. We should too, actually."

"What?" I was confused.

Oh. He thought I was panicking because of what I had said.

"No no no- I'm not freaking out... for once. I will admit I was surprised when I didn't start having a panic attack over John's reaction. I... I just have a feeling he won't say no."

Thomas paused. "Then... what's wrong?"

Oh yeah- then, of course, there was the actual reason I freaked out. "John was my ride home and he just left without me!"

•••••
Word count: 1,488
Whoop I am very happy with that chapter!
If nobody catches the Bo Burnham reference I will be very distressed lol
And, guys, before I conclude this chapter I'd like you to know that all of your comments are important to me- even if I don't respond, I see each and every comment you leave and I appreciate all of them. To all of my commenters and voters: thank you. Thank you so much for giving me all of the love- you all give me my inspiration to keep writing.
Thank you for reading- I hope to see you all in the next chapter- have a great day/night- byyyyyyyyyye