Who He Is(A Trans!Alex AU)

Chapter Dix-neuf

Okay so the fourth wall is pretty much nonexistent in this episode- my bad

•••••

The day finally rolled around on which the discussion would occur.

Which discussion? you may be asking yourself.

Well, the one where John, Thomas and I would decide what we were going to do about the three of us. You know- we have to talk about how I have a crush on the two of them and they both have crushes on me. Make up our minds about the whole ordeal.

Okay, now that I've explained, I'm totally freaking out! God, this has to be the third time my nerves have gotten to me.

The author tells me that me being such a nervous wreck makes all of you nervous but I just can't help it- sorry, everyone.

Despite the feeling I had about this being a good thing and this talk going well, I just had this awful, nagging question in the back of my mind: what if it doesn't?

I know, I know, it's a dumb thing to do- psyching myself out right before something important. Unfortunately, that small portion of my mind happens to disagree because the goddamn question just won't go away.

They both like me. I like both of them. I already know what I want to say. I just hope they can both get on board with my idea.

My hands got clammy as I sat on the couch, waiting (im)patiently for John to come pick me up. I tapped my foot nervously.

Where was he? Did he forget? Did he and Thomas just decide to cancel without telling me? Maybe neither of them was serious. Maybe it was some horrible, cruel joke to-

"Alex, John just pulled into the driveway," James informed me from the window. I blinked as the blade of a car horn could be heard from outside.

Goddammit, Alex. Why do you do this to yourself?

I sighed, pinching myself relatively hard to make sure I wasn't dreaming.

Ow. Definitely not dreaming.

I guess this was really happening.

I picked myself up, forcing my feet to walk me out of the door and making my hands open the door so I could get into the car. John smiled at me, but it was drawn back- slightly tense.

Neither of us spoke the entire drive.

If I say something, it's definitely going to be about everything going on with the three of us-

"Best to wait until it's actually all three of us," John chuckled.

I blushed. "Did I say that out loud?"

"Yeup."

Shit.

I looked down at my lap, twiddling my thumbs nervously as the tense silence settled back over the two of us.

Eventually, we pulled into Thomas's driveway. I was hopping out before John even parked the car.

I stopped to stare at the magnificent home in front of me.

Thomas's house was gorgeous- not to mention huge. I should've guessed from the second we entered the neighborhood that he'd live in a fucking mansion.

The house was clearly styled after the Victorian era, what with its three stories and old brick body. There was a balcony wrapping around the entire front of the second floor, supported by white columns resting on the first-floor landing- it appeared to go all the way around. The steps leading up to the porch were a mossy brown stone. There were more windows than I could count, and the roof towered so high above me it felt as if the house were leaning over to mock me in its glory. I could feel my mouth hanging wide, but I didn't care. This place was beautiful.