Until Forever

Part 1 - Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

 

Although still dismayed by their earlier conversation, Bidam knew he must not just let the matter of Her Majesty’s evacuation remain as it is, so when evening came, he went back to the Palace and sought audience with the Queen. Her household guard told him that she was outside taking a walk. Instinctively, he knew where to find her.

            The Queen had always loved looking at the Lake at night, especially when she needed to think. She said that the calmness of the still waters helped her to see things more clearly. And just as he expected, he found Her Majesty walking along its banks, looking out at the water, lost in thought. He could still feel the burning pain in his heart brought by her utter rejection but protect her, he must, and he needed her to change her mind – now – while there’s still time to put his plan into action. Quietly, he approached her.

            When the Queen saw him approaching, she quickly wiped away the tears that streaked down her cheeks, unaware that he had already seen them.

            “Have you finally decided?” Bidam quietly asked. He wanted so much to comfort her but he was afraid that she would reject his touch and so he restrained himself and looked down at the placid waters instead, quietly waiting for her answer.

            The Queen remained silent, her pale face, shrouded by the shadows cast by the torches, turned towards the darkened Lake. The agony in her heart was evident when she finally spoke.

            “There was a time when everything in my life was simple. I did not worry much about the past nor about the future. Then one day, my world was turned upside down. I met Chilsuk, a traveler who turned out to be the very man who had been hunting me for the last fifteen years. He sought us out even in the desert and tried to kill me. In the desert, I saw the mother I had known all my life die before my eyes protecting me. From then on, I swore that I must find out who I truly was.

            And so, I travelled to Gyerim, on my own, to search for Munno, the man whom I thought held the key to my identity. To protect myself, I disguised myself as a man and due to some strange turn of events became an Army Trainee, a Nangdo. Then,  just as I was ready to give up on my search for my past I found out that I was a twin, the princess that His Majesty had sent away to protect the Royal family. Those who were loyal to the King wanted to kill me to belie the prophesy[1] that declared the fall of the Royal House in the event of a twin birth, Lady Mishil tried to capture me to oust the Queen; my sister, Princess Cheonmyeong, died protecting me and Yushin risked everything to do the same. The rest of the people who learned about my real status bowed down before me and revered me, telling me of the great feats that I must accomplish. Since then, nothing had been the same and I suddenly felt that I had ceased to be me.

            Then, out of nowhere, you came into my life. You intended to sell me to my enemies but instead ended up saving my life. Even when you learned about my real identity, you did not care that I was a princess and treated me like you would an ordinary person. I did not mind and I even asked you to keep on treating me that way because, with you at least, I felt like my old self again. Even when I regained my title and had returned to the Palace, you did not change and even brought me flowers. You were not afraid to show me your concern and had no qualms in touching me or holding my hands to comfort me, when everyone else distanced themselves and put me on a pedestal. Even when other people warned me about your motives, I did not care because with you I could be myself and that made me happy. And that’s also why our relationship never really changed that much,” she paused and turned to look at him.

            “So what happened? Why do you seem so different now?” he asked, longingly looking into her eyes.

            The Queen turned away from him, afraid of the emotions that he might see in her eyes.