TWO BIRDS OF A FEATHER

Virtue of understanding...

To love someone means to accept them as they are. Who they are. It also means to understand that one's virtues and vices make up that person. They make them whole. It is in understanding this very sacred rule that enables one to believe in love, to believe in its strength, and to believe in its future...

Can was crushed... There was no other way to put it. He loved Sanem. He was in love with her. He put his trust in her in ways he did not even believe possible. He risked it all and proposed to her. And she... shut him down. She did not accept his proposal. But the way it felt, it was as if she did not reject just his proposal but that she rejected him, and that she rejected a future with him. Even though she tried to mask it with reasons why she did not say yes, all he truly heard was that she did not say "YES".

He went back to his house to change clothes and felt he needed to get out of there as soon as possible. The air in the house with Hüma in it felt stale. There was no freedom there. No solace. No peace. Not that he would be able to find any the way he felt now. He wanted to change and leave without seeing Hüma. He did not want to see her, much less hear her speak.

He was almost out the door, when Hüma came up and wanted to talk. Or rather, she wanted him to explain himself. His agitation went through the roof. He had nothing to say to her. And if she thought he would stoop so low as to offer her anything remotely close to any kind of an explanation regarding his life or his feelings, she was mistaken. But she would not take no for an answer. She even went so far as to ask to try to rebuild their relationship.

That was the last straw. His heart, which ached with an indescribable pain a moment ago, froze. He replied to her that there was no relationship to rebuilt. Not that he would ever seek to rebuild it ever again in his life. The pain of her leaving when he was a child made his heart numb. And that's all she would get from him. Nothing more. He left, unaware that his treacherous mother spent not one second being sad about the way he left her standing in the hallway. No, she spent no time on remorse. She just jumped right into devising her own little plan to get Can's mind off Sanem. She called Ceyda who more than gladly rushed to Can's unsuspecting side.

If Ceyda thought she would get anywhere with Can, she thought wrong. He was alone, and felt lonelier than ever. He felt as if Sanem was slipping away from him. Not even the drink he downed helped to take the edge of his simmering temper. He wanted to forget the pain and wanted to feel the way he felt in the morning - before his heart sank to the bottom of the bottomless sea. The moment his phone rang and he realized it was Sanem, he felt a pang of hope followed by a jolt of yet another wave of pain. She wanted to talk. To hear her voice helped eased his temper, but not for long. As unfortunate as it could get, Ceyda walked in just as he was speaking with Sanem.

Though he never afforded Ceyda anything other than a passive glance, Sanem thought otherwise. How convenient was it for Ceyda to show up the moment they had a momentary crisis of doubt in the strength of their love. Convenient? Of course. But was it a coincidence? Of course NOT. Not on Ceyda's part, whether Can was too blind to see it or not. And while Can shot Ceyda's advance down in a clear way and moved his hand away from hers, Sanem imagined the sweetest ways of how she could have gotten Ceyda knocked off her feet once and for all. She also carried out a conversation with her inner voice that made her understand the errors of her ways. He proposed? He did. And she shot him down? Yes she did. SHE DID! So what could she expect of a man such as Can Divit? To sit at home with a broken heart?

Sanem rushed to Leyla's room in search of a sisterly advice. Instead she found the sleepy ice beauty half awake and half aware of the world around her. Even though Leyla did not offer Sanem any advice, she made Sanem's head spin and her presumptions of what could happen between Can and Ceyda sped up to warp speed. Leyla mentioned that they probably went home already. HA! Though that had a different meaning to Leyla, Sanem understood it in her own terms. Mountain home terms, that was. There was only one way out of that dilemma for Sanem. She needed to get to the mountain home. And the only one who could have helped her was Osman...

She arrived at Can's mountain home to find it empty and gloomy. She had never seen it so dark and uninviting. She was glad there was no sign of him though. Yet as she was about to leave a taxi cab pulled up. It was Can, and he was alone. Perfectly happy that he did not bring Ceyda with him, she decided to leave, but she picked the wrong gears, and ended up backing up into a tree. Fortunately for her, or rather unfortunately, Can came by to check if she was alright. She was, though her story did not add up. The more she spoke, the more hurt he felt. Apparently the trust he put in Sanem was not reciprocated in the way he understood it before. He trusted her. But did she trust him?

Sanem got out of the car and tried her best to explain  how she felt. She trusted him, but she did not trust Ceyda. That irritated him. He couldn't care less about Ceyday or any other woman that walked into his life before he met Sanem, nor would he care about any other woman since he met her. She occupied his heart. And only she. But he was beginning to see that they really did not understand commitment to one another on the same level. And that hurt. More than he realized at first. Sanem asked why Ceyda came by the bar if he did not invite her there. He wondered if she understood the gravity of what she was accusing him of. He did not invite Sanem to the mountain home yet there she was. He asked Sanem why would she even consider questionning the time he was alone if she was the one who left him alone, who turned him down and away, who made him feel lonelier than ever?

He gave Sanem his phone. She did not trust him? Fine. It hurt him that she admitted it inbetween the words she spoke. She was his everything, she filled his whole heart so that there was no room left for anyone else. But she failed to see it. It crushed his heart to say it, but he told Sanem he would not mention marriage to her again. Not when the things were the way they were now. They needed to know each other better. And she needed to grow up more.

What came next crushed them both, because he spoke nothing but the truth - and for a man who was never ashamed of who he was those words cut his hear in two. He spoke with pain in his words that she probably needed to sneak out of her house to come to him. It was okay for them to love each other in secret, but it was not okay to reveal their love to her family. He was good to spend time with her away from anyone, but not good enough to be able to show himself in her neighborhood.

He told her to leave everything. She panicked. She did not want them to leave one another. Never would it have crossed her mind to consider for things to end this way. He felt even worse when he heard her say that. He meant for them to leave the vehicle where it was. But, then again, he probably wouldn't be able to drop her off at her house because they would have been seen together. He could not handle it anymore. Being away from her hurt, but standing face to face with her hurt even more.

As he walked away, he told her that apparently love was a crime. Loving her sure felt that way now. He walked toward the mountain home and did not turn around to see if she were still standing there. Had he done so, maybe he would have been able to see the love for him that was still as bright as ever in her eyes. It shone in her eyes, and only for him. But they both began to give in to the doubt that started to fill their hearts, little by little. And they failed to believe in the virtue of understanding. They failed to believe in the strength of their love...