Multifandom oneshots

Koichi and Rohan eat paint at Michael's

I'm gonna

Also fair warning, I haven't watched JoJo in YEARS so like my sincerest apologies if I completely butcher their characters.

Koichi Hirose slept peacefully in his bed, dreaming sweet dreams about spending time with his beautiful girlfriend and best bros, Okuyassu and Josugay. Koichi's bed was warm, his sleep was comfortable, and at that moment, he was happier than he had been in a very long time. Unfortunately, his peaceful sleep was interrupted by his window being shattered with a large rock.

"Koichi! We need to leave! Now!" cried Rohan Kishibe as he crawled through his window. Koichi rolled over with a loud groan, pulling the covers over his head. He prayed that this was all just a bad dream, but unfortunately for him, it was not. "Get up, Koichi! There's an emergency, we need to go!" Rohan affirmed, tearing the blankets off of the boy and picking him up. He slung him over his shoulder and leaped out of the window, racing off into the streets.

Koichi rubbed his eyes. "What time is it? What the hell is going on, Rohan?" he moaned, the cold night air hitting his face. He was used to Rohan's antics, but this was something different. Koichi thought that they had defeated all of the enemy stand users in Morioh, and if a situation like that were to arise, he would have thought that someone closer to him like Josuke or Yukako would have come to retrieve him, not the green haired Mangaka. 

"Currently, it's three in the morning. And as I just said, there's an emergency!" Rohan ran faster than he ever had, even faster than a certain blue hedgehog. 

"What the hell is the emergency?" Koichi yelled, perhaps more angry than he had ever been in his life.

"I'm hungry, and only one thing can cure my hunger! And that thing is paint from Michael's!"

Un fucking believable, Koichi thought. Rohan had dragged him on all sorts of wacky adventures, but none of them had ever been this stupid, or this absurd. Still, if Koichi were to resist, Rohan would no doubt use Heaven's Door on him, thus rendering him completely under his control. Rather than struggle, Koichi decided to go along with it. After all, it couldn't be that bad.

The two eventually reached the nearest Michael's, which, miraculously, was still open. Rohan dragged Koichi inside without giving him even a moment of repose. He speed walked through the aisles until he reached the paint section in the very back and then took a moment to marvel at the selection. "So many flavors to choose from..." Rohan said in awe, debating which one to try first.

"Um, Rohan? I don't think that that's how it works..." Koichi reasoned, but it fell on deaf ears. Rohan picked up a tube of green paint and unscrewed the cap, then squeezed it and emptied the acrylic fluid into his mouth without listening to a word that Koichi had said. "Mm~! It's so good~!" Rohan cried, licking and sucking on the opening of the tube to get any of the remaining paint out. 

Koichi cringed. He wanted to go home and go back to bed, but he knew that this was going to be a long night. There was no escape for him, other than death. Rohan picked up a large jug of paint and took off the cap, downing it like it was a pint of beer rather than a gallon of paint. Koichi couldn't watch. Rohan set the jug down with a thud, then picked up a tube of white paint and tossed it to Koichi, who caught it instinctively. "Try some." Rohan goaded, and from the look on his face, Koichi wasn't really left with a choice.

Koichi opened the tube hesitantly, reeling at the smell of chemicals. Rohan pulled out a tube of blue paint, tapping it against Koichi's with a "Kanpai!" as he slurped up the ultramarine liquid. Koichi decided to bite the bullet and join him. He put a little on his finger to taste test, then licked it off. Much to his surprise, it was delicious. It was a bit salty, but so much so that it was addictive. Koichi wanted more. He downed the whole tube and grabbed another, then another. He had gone through five tubes before he had even realized, and his face was absolutely slathered in the white fluid. Rohan's was no better. 

Just as they had finished their business, Rohan heard heavy footsteps thundering in their direction. "We need to leave." Rohan ordered, picking up the small boy and slinging him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.  Rohan made a break for the nearest window and smashed it open with a large brick. How he got his hands on such a large brick, God only knows. Rohan leapt out of the window, making the drop of 1 foot completely and miraculously unscathed. Rohan took off into the night, the Michael's security guards taking off after them but they were unable to keep up with the man. 

Rohan returned Koichi to his bed and tucked him in, proceeding to read him a bedtime story and give him a kiss on the forehead. "Wow, Rohan! That was really fun! I didn't think I would like it, but that white paint was so good!" Koichi said, and he just couldn't wait to go to Michael's with him again.

"I wanna give you some of my white paint." Rohan replied under his breath.

"What?" Koichi gave him a look of concern. He didn't quite catch what he had said.

"It's nothing. Goodnight, Koichi." Rohan gave him a final kiss on the head before leaping out the window, never to be seen again.

The next week, Rohan was found dead in his home in Morioh. Though the coroners found a very concerning amount of paint in his body at the time of death, they concluded that the cause of death was by being shot seven times with a glock. They didn't find the killer, nor did they care to.