Hhhhhh I'm super tired so this is gonna be quickie *wink wonk* ok shut the fuck up
Once upon a time Okuyasu was very hungry. Josuke and Koichi were busy having a threesome with Yukako without him because apparently he moaned too loudly and it made everyone uncomfortable especially when he moaned Josuke's name and those were the only friends he had so he decided to go to Tonio's alone for something to eat like the lonely ass virgin he was.
Oku sat down and got his first few courses served to him as well as his drink. His eyes were magically rehydrated, his crippling depression was cured, he shit his pants and even became immortal and it was finally time for the main meal; a nice simple plate of spaghetti. Tonio stood by and watched, not wanting to miss this. Oku took a bite and savoured it for a few minutes, then swallowed.
"Well, how is it?" Tonio asked, smiling softly as usual. "It's really good, but I'm not too big on the texture. It feels more like wet clumps of flour than noodles but the sauce is on point." Oku replied, getting back to eating. "I'm not too big on you existing." Tonio muttered a little too loudly, visibly upset. "Wh-" Okuyasu began, but was cut off by the Italian man swiping the plate off of the table with his forearm in a blind rage. "MY MINECRAFT WIFE LEFT ME!" He roared. "Damn bro that sucks." Oku responded. "THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY? SHE RESPAWNED IN MY HOMIE'S BED AND TOOK THE DOGS, YOU INSENSITIVE FUCK!" The chef yelled, picking up the high schooler and snapping him like a twig over his leg. He then picked him back up and yeeted him at the floor, proceeding to sob violently in a corner.
Okuyasu was sent to the ER, and Tonio had broken all of his bonios. Liek if u crie every tiem. He and his bros had sympathy orgies in his hospital bed every tuesday. Tonio eventually had to close up shop for a few days as the shock of his Minecraft wife leaving him was too much to bear. Okuyasu eventually died of dysentery and Tonio found a new Minecraft wife who wasn't a hoe and lived happily ever after with her, the end uwu
Oh my god, look at that face, if you're feeling suicidal then you've come to the right place
YOU ARE READING
Multifandom oneshots
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