To All The Girls I've Loved Before

Say you're just a friend

I never knew keeping a secret from my friends was this exhausting. I had to lie to them over and over again when Tzuyu and I had something planned. Tzuyu also had to lie to Lisa when she wanted to know what Tzuyu was up to.

I hate lying to my friends, especially since I never lied to them before. But I couldn't risk them finding out about me hanging out with Tzuyu. They'd never talk to me.

Tzuyu and I have been hanging out for over three weeks, and it has been perfect. Of course we didn't go out in public, but that's ok because with us staying inside is perfectly perfect to me. I enjoy her company. I just wish she would let me know if this will be something more. I'm tired of guessing these games she's been playing. It's like I know she likes me some days, then other days I can't tell.

It's driving me crazy.

My mom met her and she absolutely loves her. I mean who wouldn't? Tzuyu is perfect in everyway. So, why is she friends with Lisa anyway?

Not that I don't like Lisa, because I do. Just not in a friendly way. I like her as a human, or a pet.

Hey, she could be my bitch. Get it?

Anyways, I don't understand why Lisa hates people. She likes the people who think and act like her. But, if you don't act like her, she automatically hates you. I don't get it.

Tzuyu and I are currently sitting in my room, playing Go Fish, and I'm winning.

"You're cheating!" Tzuyu screams as she throws the cards in the air. I watch the cards fall down and smile at her.

"I am not cheating. I'm not even sure if you can cheat at Go Fish." She crossed her arms and glared at me.

"I don't like losing, Sana." I raised an eyebrow to challenge her.

"What are you going to do about it?"

She thinks for a moment then tackles me without warning. She pins my arms on the floor and looks at me. "I will fight you." I wanted to laugh because I couldn't imagine Tzuyu getting into a fight.

"I don't think you even know how to fight." She raised her eyebrow and glared at me.

"Then I will tickle you to death."

Before I could say anything she starts tickling me, and it gives me an opportunity to push her off of me. She glares me as I smile at her. "I am not ticklish so you're wasting your time."

She crossed her arms. "You're no fun."

I pat her head. "It's ok. One day you'll win at something." She playfully pushes me as I laugh at her.

We stay silent for a moment then she speaks, "I always seem to have fun with you." I smile and shrug,

"That's because I'm fun to be around and have a great personality." She smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, you do. Especially better than Lisa's. All she wants to do is gossip and start shit."

I could imagine. Lisa is the queen of gossip and starting shit to get people upset or humiliated. I shake my head, "Why do you hang with her? She hates almost everyone, and it's not cool. She needs to learn to love others."

Tzuyu thought for a moment, "I don't know why she's like the way she is. She's always had the perfect life, ever since she was little. They say that if someone constantly bullies others, then that means they've been bullied also. But Lisa never has."

I shrug. I didn't understand it, I mean Tzuyu was her best friend since grade school, she's the only one that should know.

After a minute, Tzuyu spoke, "I better get home before Lisa goes there and asks where I am." I nod as I stand up to walk her out.

As we reach the front door, she stops and looks at me, "Thanks for the play date." I smile then start feeling butterflies in my stomach as she stares at me.

It's now or never. I need to know how she feels.

"Tzuyu, I need to ask you something." She stands there looking at me, waiting for me to continue. I take a deep breath, "Do you like me?"

It seems to take her a minute to think of an answer.

If you're going to say no, just do it. The suspense is killing me.

She nods and I feel my heart drop. "Yeah, you're a great friend. I enjoy spending afternoons with you." She smiles then says her goodbye.

I slowly shut the door and lean my head against it.

Not the answer I wanted to hear but at least she said she enjoys spending time with me. I guess I just need a little more time and make her like me more than a friend.

I sigh and hear my mom coming down the stairs. "Has Tzuyu left?" I looked at her and nodded then walked to the kitchen to grab a drink.

She follows me and continues a conversation, "That's too bad. I wanted to show her your baby pictures,"

I looked at her, "Mom!" I whined as she laughed a little.

Mom is always trying to embarrass me. I remember when I first brought Suho and Dubu home, my mom brought out a whole photo album of my baby pictures and showed it to them. I'm surprised they haven't ran away.

She smiled, "I'm kidding honey. Tzuyu is a great girl, I just wanted her to stay a little longer." I knew what she was doing. She wanted Tzuyu to stay over so she could talk me up, create a longer chat about everything and hopefully make Tzuyu my girlfriend.

I wish it was that simple. She doesn't understand that this was Tzuyu Chou we were talking about. The girl who has everything. She couldn't fall for me. It just didn't seem Right.

"Mom, she only likes me as a friend. There's nothing going on." She came up to me and patted my back. I stared at her like she was crazy. She removed her arm, "I'm sorry honey, maybe she'll come around. You're a great girl and beautiful girl, I'm sure she'll fall for you soon."

I hope so mom, I sure hope.