Go Away

Part Nine

Five Months Later

Natasha's POV

I stared up at the ceiling, feeling small tears trickling down the sides of my face. I lay on the floor, as that was all I could get my body to do. Alexei had left me alone a few hours ago. I could still feel his touch, his rough caresses, him ripping me apart. When he first left, and I had enough strength, I ran my nails over my skin, trying to rid myself of him. But it didn't work. Eventually, my nails broke skin, and I had to will myself to stop, I was keeping whatever blood I had left in me. 

I desperately want to go back to the Tower, back to my room, to my bed. I want to see Clint again, and Steve, and even Tony for god's sake. I could still hear Steve's words in my ear. I love you. He had said that to me, and I still couldn't believe it. I have no idea how long it's been since then, I lost count of the days, but I hope that he still loves me, that I didn't dream it. I just want to tell him that I love him back. He doesn't know. But I can't let Alexei know that. He'd only use it against me, and I can't let that happen.  I love  him. That's something I never thought I could do, but I'm not sure that he will love me after what Alexei's done. No one could love me. 

I laid there a few moments longer before I heard the clonking of footsteps headed my way. I started to tense, I knew they were going to hurt me, and I hate that I can't control this reaction. I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut and try to make myself disappear into the corner of the cell, but that'd be risky for my wounds, besides, if my eyes were shut, then I wouldn't be prepared for whatever is coming. 

The cell door slammed open, forcing a gasp out of me. Four armed guards walked in. They all seemed prepared for my worst although I knew, and probably them as well, that I couldn't fight back anymore. Two of them hauled me up, forcing my legs into a standing position, but I knew my legs wouldn't hold my weight, not after they shot both of my knee caps. Although that happened a few days ago, the wound was still fresh. The soldiers dragged me back into the interrogation room. I don't know what they could possibly ask of me now. My voice never fully came back, so even if they did manage to get me to speak, it would be gargly and they would likely not be able to understand me. Not that they would ever get me to talk, except to critic their poor interrogation skills. I had tried that in the beginning, when I was testing out my voice, Alexei's face had flushed with embarrassment of being criticized by his own prisoner in front of his subordinates. My satisfaction didn't last long. Alexei had returned my comments with a harsh beating in my ribs. They still hadn't ceased aching, even now. I'm assuming that they are broken. 

The guards handcuffed me to a chair, opposed to the usual table, as Alexei walked in. He was followed by a man holding a phone. So now they were going to use me as ransom or bait. Of course. As I was staring at the phone camera, I felt a prick in my arm. I silently cursed, I let myself become distracted. As I stared at the phone, I become more aware of how blurry my vision was and how everything sounded like it was under water. I could hear the man holding the phone talk, but I couldn't bring myself to focus on the words. I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, drowning everything else out. 

I felt the tip of a dull knife against my thigh, so I tried to look down at it, only to feel like I was moving in slow motion. 

Steve's Point Of View

We had looked everywhere. Every known Hydra base, every known Red Room base, but Natasha wasn't anywhere to be found. It was like she disappeared off the face of the Earth. And we knew for a fact that she hadn't, for obvious reasons. Unless there was alien activity that we weren't aware of. But that wasn't possible because after New York, Stark had set up every kind of moniter possible to make sure that we wouldn't be caught off guard. We know that she is out there. 

Clint is giving up hope. He's been saying that they wouldn't keep her alive this long. Five months is a long to to keep live prisoners, especially for the KGB. 

I was trying to return at least some normalcy to my life, on Clint's behalf. He brought up the point that if Natasha was indeed dead, then she would want me to move on. I at least want to Clint to think that I am, but I think about her everyday, and Clint would be lying if he said that he didn't either. Tony hasn't taken it too well, he spends most of his time with Pepper or in his workshop. He almost never visits the tower. 

I was checking my email, seeing if Tony had emailed me back about a team dinner, when I saw an email in Russian. Thinking it was from Natasha, because she's the only person who has ever emailed me in Russian, I opened the file that was attached. I knew that I would never forget what I saw. 

A/N

Sorry it's been so long since the last update, and sorry that it's so short. I'm going to try to update more often, I'm not giving up on this story.

~Reagan