Go Away

Part Two

Natasha's POV

I am used to Clint seeing me vulnerable, I was used to it. Clint helped me, especially right after SHIELD recruited me, with my nightmares. He helped SHIELD trust me, Clint Barton helped me trust other people. He was the only person I let my mask down for.

I wasn't prepared for more people to be in my room when I woke up this morning. Now Steve and Tony have seen me like this. I know they knew I had nightmares, but they always let Clint deal with it. Steve and Tony didn't know I chained myself to the bed at night. We always did it when I was young. But now, I can't sleep without it. Clint has been trying to help me stop, but everything he's tried hasn't worked. 

Now I have to deal with three people giving me worried looks. Three people trying to get me to stop my habits. Three people who think I'm not capable of taking care of myself. 

I hate it. 

I hate it that Steve and Tony know. 

***

I stepped out of the elevator and onto the recreation floor of the Tower, the one with the kitchen and living room, etc. Steve, Clint, and Tony were all seated at the table, where three bowls of soggy bowls of cereal sat. It was obvious that no one was really eating. 

When they heard me walking towards the table, all three of them put on fake smiles, and shoved spoonfuls of soggy cereal into their mouths. I sat down, and stared at my fingers on the table.

"Why don't you get something to eat, Natasha?" Tony said softly. 

"I'm not hungry," I replied. While I didn't look up, I could see that they were all slightly dissapointed, and worried.  Steve got up up, and opened the fridge. I could tell he was going to get something, and try to make me eat. 

Before he could even ask what I liked, I got up from the table.

"Natasha, wait!" Clint yelled after me. I got in the elevator, and headed back to the residence floor. I went to my room and changed into my training clothes. 

I went for the punching bag, and started to punch it, hard.

***

Clint's POV

When Natasha got up, silence fell over the three of us. We were poking a our cereal, when FRIDAY announced, 

"Mr. Barton, as you have requested of me, I would like to report that Ms. Romanoff has become a danger to herself. I would also like to inform you, her door is locked."

I spat out what was in my mouth and ran for the stairs. Steve and Tony Followed.

When we got to Natasha's room, we knew she was awake, so I knocked on the door. She didn't answer. Maybe she's got her headphones one, I thought hopefully.

I banged on the door. "Natasha, Open the door."

Still no response. 

Tony was obviously fed up, and knew she would not open the door, so he used one of his thrusters, and knocked the door down.

I ran in, expecting to find Natasha at least looking at the opened door. Natasha was mindlessly punching the bag that was in her room. 

I walked over to her, to see what the problem was, after all, Friday did say that she was becoming a danger to herself, when I saw that her wrists weren't wrapped. There was blood all over the punching bag, her hands were raw and bleeding.

Quickly as I could, I grabbed her arms, and held her back. She was struggling, Natasha was trying to get back up to punch the bag.

***

Natasha's POV

It felt good. 

I was just letting my frustrations, fears, and everything out on the bag. I didn't even realize that I hadn't wrapped my wrists until I was pulled away from the bag.

I didn't want to stop punching it yet, I wasn't done. I went back for the bag, but I felt two strong arms around mine, holding me back. 

I felt the tears escape from my eyes as I slowly sank to the floor. I felt something cold on my raw knuckles, and looked down. 

I saw Tony carefully washing my knuckles with a washcloth, which would probably be permently stained with my blood. I saw Steve walking up to us with a bottle of rubbing alchohol.

That's when I got up. I wiped my tears, and put my mask back on. They didn't need to see me like this again. 

"I can take care of myself." I said coolly. The boys looked taken aback. Tony's look of surprise was quickly replaced with a look of anger. 

"Well, obviously not!" Tony snapped.

"Will you guys stop watching me, it's only putting me on edge, I don't need three muscleheads watching my every move! I don't need you guys to burst into my room and to just cry into your arms. I'm tired of all three of you restraining me, stopping me from what I need to do, stopping me from dealing with things on my own, things I've done on my own for years. It's my life. Only I know how to deal with it."

"You know how to deal with your life?! You show no regard for your life!" Clint joined in with Tony. Steve just stood there, dissapointed with all of us. I felt my face fall. My defiant look had gone. 

"Come one guys," Steve said, "Let's give her some space."

"In a second." Tony said, he was obviously still angry and worried. "Friday, dissable the lock feature for Ms. Romanoff's room, and enable the security camera." 

I was about to yell at him until my lungs burned when Steve spoke. He could tell I was at my wits end with all three of them.

Steve grabbed the other two, and led them out of my room.

I slammed the door behind him.