To Make Amends • Kylo Ren/ Ben Solo x reader

• Chapter 18 •

He cleared his throat, "Well, training won't be necessary today after your ordeal on the planet Droch. You will return to your quarters" he said in a formal tone.

"Wait what?" I looked at him confused.

"Like I said training will not be necessary-"

I interrupted him. "No I heard what you said, but I just don't understand."

"I think my orders were pretty clear." He said standing up.

I laughed bitterly "What? One minute you were talking to me like I was an actual human, that you cared about nonetheless. Now you're acting like i'm just one of the workers here. Why?"

He stood silent just looking at me.

"Please Kylo just talk to me" I pleaded.

"I don't know why. You're always in my head. You shouldn't be, but you are." He sounded confused.

"Oh..." I didn't really know what to say. "Okay...".

Kylo left leaving me very confused. I decided to go get some food in the canteen. I eventually found my way there and when I walked in there was loads of people there. It felt so weird, usually I would go in with Kylo and everyone would leave. I walked over and grabbed some food, sat down at a table on my own. I started eating when suddenly someone sat down at my table. I wonder who she is and why she's sitting here, an engineer maybe, by the looks of the uniform? I stayed quiet and continued to eat my food.

"So...you're the girl the commanders been with?" she questioned eagerly.

"I'm sorry what? Who are you?" I almost spat out my food.

"Hey no judgement here, but people are talking about you, someone saw you go into the commanders room." She replied, her voice snarky. I looked around and realised that there were eyes on me.

"I-I'm just is apprentice." I replied in a hushed tone.

"Girl you can tell me!" She looked back at another table full of people and they all looked at her for answers.

"I'm sorry if you'll excuse me, I have to go." I felt everyone staring as I made my way out.

I felt so weird, uncomfortable even. I was with Kylo last night but not the way people were talking about. I for some reason decided to go to kylo's quarters. He made me feel safe and I was hoping I could talk to him about what happened so I thought it would be a good idea.

I stood outside his quarters contemplating once again whether or not I should go in, before I was able to decide the door opened.

"Hello?" There was no response so I stepped inside. Kylo was definitely here I just didn't know what room.

I decided to go to his bedroom and knock.

"Enter" Kylo's voice came from inside.

I pressed the button beside the door and it opened. I stepped inside once again feeling awkward but I wanted to tell him about what happened. He was stood in his robes without the mask that usually covered his face. He was stood staring out the the window into space.

"What is troubling you?" He asked turning around to face me.

After what had happened I wasn't sure whether to speak formally or not and frankly I was scared to make a mistake. Do I call him master or kylo or what?!

"Kylo is fine..." He said bluntly.

"Well I wanted to tell you something. I- uh people think there's something between us, and something going on. People were uh gossiping in the canteen. This girl told me about how everyone thought." I said feeling tense.

"Is there not?" he said walking towards me.

"What?" I was confused.

"Is there not something between us?" He looked into my eyes.

"I don't know Kylo...is there?" I said feeling the pink dust my cheeks.

"I'd like to think so..." He moved closer.

He was gazing into my eyes and his eyes quickly looked at my lips and back to my eyes. He leaned in close pressing his lips against mine. I lost myself in the kiss for a moment, then pulled away as much as I didn't want to. It felt wrong, but somehow right.

"You are so confusing." I looked at him puzzled.

"So are you" He smirked.

There I was again melting at his words. How had so much changed since arriving on the starkiller base. It honestly amazed me.

"Kylo? Can I ask a small favour?" I asked.

"Depends." He replied.

"Well you see, I'm still hungry. I didn't get to finish my food because of what happened in the canteen. I uh thought you could come with me because well um-" I said stuttering, not sure how to phrase it.

"Because people leave when I enter the room?" He interrupted.

"Well yeah" I said rubbing the back of my neck.

"I will join you" He said walking towards the door.

"Thank you" I said.

He stopped for a moment. Then turned to me, gesturing for me to walk along side him. "Y-your welcome."

I happily walked alongside him. I could still feel people looking at the two of us walking down the hall, but when I was with him I didn't feel as uncomfortable. His heavy steps echoed as we made our way to get food. We arrived in the canteen and as always, people began to disperse. We sat down and ate. I thought back to his quarters and how it was basically a huge house.

"Kylo do you not have like I don't know a kitchen in your quarters or something?" I questioned still stuffing my face with food.

"Yes" He replied.

"Why do you eat here then?" I asked looking up from my food.

He looked up at me, "I don't usually. Only when you are hungry...".

"Oh..." I smiled to myself, though he probably, definitely saw it.

"Since were asking questions...Do you plan to return to the resistance?".

"I-I...Well of course I want to. I miss my friends...they are my family but still my heart tells me to stay here."

He rose an eyebrow, "You're heart?".

"Yeah...I guess so." I replied.

We finished eating our food and spent the rest of the day just talking. It was actually really nice. He was more talkative than usual and I found it nice, because as much as I like talking sometimes it's nicer to listen. We were sitting on his bed.

"Random question, How did you even have time to spend the day with me?" I asked genuinely interested seeing as he is THE Kylo Ren, with lots of things to do.

"I don't have the time...I make the time." He replied.

"Smooth."