I See You (Campus Crush series)

24

Please forgive meee! I swear I am off hiatus (i'm calling it that but in truth i've just been lazy). Don't forget to follow me on snap (and backup acc) amesmaxx so you can message me! And to possibly remind me to get off my ass and write more. It's easier to chat on Snap.

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(past)

Elena Consuelo had bright brown eyes and an expressive, tanned face. Her wild curls were swept up in colorful little bows, and the laughter that radiated from her small body had not been dimmed by her unfortunate plight.

She'd suffered her second atonic seizure this morning alone, setting her parents on edge. And, come early afternoon, when her head suddenly dropped and her body became limp with another attack, Dr. Naiman decided to move up her surgery date to tomorrow night.

I was at a loss. I thought I'd have a week to prepare and overcome my hesitation. I even tried to convince myself that only having one day to rehearse would be fine. But one look at the desperation on her parents' faces told me all I needed to know. I was not going to kill their child.

I told Dr. Naiman as much, which kind of hurt my pride a bit.

"I can't do it," I bluntly stated. "I can't and won't do Elena's surgery. A-and I don't mean to just... quit, but I need more than one day to prep."

"Dr. Larsen, I'll be right there beside you." His eyes were understanding. "This is a surgery I know you can do. I've seen you operate dozens of times." His bushy eyebrows flew up. "And I'd never push you into something you couldn't handle."

"I..." My chest rose as I drew in a breath. "I don't wanna gamble on a little child's life."

"I hope you aren't letting fear decide this for you."

"You always said that a good surgeon knows when to operate, but a great surgeon knows when not to. Well, this is me attempting to be great."

"No. This is you cowering. Deciding not to open up a patient because it's the right thing to do makes you great, not because you're afraid to operate on a child. Dr. Larsen, you must learn to keep your emotions under control. That is what will get your patients killed, and you don't want that burden. Take it from me."

I huffed, looking away in embarrassment. I was so tired of everyone telling me to be a robot. "What am I supposed to do? Just pretend I don't care?"

"No," he answered patiently. "Of course not. We are in the healthcare field, after all. You need to maintain a balance. I wish I could tell you how to find that balance but everyone is different. And, just a little advice, don't tell yourself that you can't do anything. Next time, say you simply aren't ready and that you would like to learn. Always strive to be better. This will give you the confidence you need to kick your fears aside."

I nodded, soaking in his wisdom. I respected Dr. Naiman for that reason. He was my mentor, and one day I'd be in his position. He wanted me to be the best surgeon I could be, and I didn't want to disappoint him.

So I stood a little taller and exhaled. "If you would let me, I'd like to assist you on this surgery so that I can be prepared in the future."

He smiled, pleased that I took his advice. "Go home. Get some rest. We will rehearse first thing tomorrow morning."

I definitely wasn't going to argue with the chance to return home early and see my family. I found a couple of my friends to say goodbye for the day and headed out.

Once I arrived home, I was met by Athena sitting in the living room with Royce and Dawn, singing along to a Disney movie.

My babies rushed me in a hug as my goddaughter stood to greet me happily.