What If | Idina Menzel & Kristen Bell fanfic

No Turning Back

"And you know there's no turning back.
No turning back.
And you wonder what if?"

"What if?" The light slowly turns dark as Idina finishes the last note. The momentary darkness before her eyes always makes her content after a long hard show. For her, this is the moment of half dreaming and half awake, which reminds her of the solid ground at her feet. The show is over. It's time to go back to reality. Now the whole theater is bright again with the audience clapping and cheering. Idina lets out a relieved sigh as she walks off with James Snyder for the curtain call.

This is Broadway, the world Idina can never leave behind. She can still recall the wild days playing Maureen in RENT, and the silly greenifying procedure during Wicked. She was lucky enough to be in both shows that were revolutionary of the industry, although a lot of things happened during her ten-year departure. For a while she led life of obscurity, had to bear with the frustration of not getting jobs.

But now she no longer needs to worry about her career. Frozen is such a huge hit, and she's back to the stage with friends old and new—lately they just privately celebrated the one-month opening of If/Then on Broadway at Anthony's house.

Idina quickly runs through shower, packs her things and gets ready to leave. The fans go wild as she walks through the stage door and shout out in excitement. This is also one of Idina's favorite part of theater: stage-dooring. Some people think it tiresome, but Idina can always see the fun part of talking to people and signing playbills. Especially now with Frozen being so phenomenal, little girls in blue dresses would often appear with their eager parents, looking at Idina with such curiosity and admiration while shyly handing out the playbill to get a signature. Idina loves the feeling of being needed, besides, she was exactly one of those girls decades ago. There is no way she would turn them down.

"Idina this is a present for you!" A little girl hands Idina a folded painting as she stops to sign.

"That's so nice of you sweetie! By the way you're the only one of your age who doesn't call me Elsa!"

"Of course you're not Elsa! You are a person and Elsa is animated. You only voice her."

"You're so clever!" Idina laughs.

"And I want to be on that stage just like you."

"You will, one day," smiles Idina. "I'll make sure to be in the audience."

Idina's phone rings when she is beginning to open the picture the little girl gives her. It is her driver, Luis, telling her  that the car has arrived and he isn't able to park at this busy hour after show. Idina reluctantly hurries through the crowd and jumps into the waiting car. Luckily they set off without getting a fine.

Idina rests her head on the backseat and closes her eyes. Through her shut eyelids, she can still sense the neon glowing along the street—typical scenery of NYC. The cool night air pours through the window, making her shiver slightly. At this moment Idina realizes she is still clutching the drawing of that adorable little girl she met at the stage door. "It must be another Elsa picture," she says to herself, and can't help smiling at the idea. She is always proud of how Frozen means to young people. This movie, her character Elsa and the notoriously famous Let it Go are beautiful gifts in her life. They bring tremendous responsibility as well.

Sometimes she wonders what else can this experience possibly bring to her life. Is there anything else?

Yes, the crayon colors of platinum and light blue appear before Idina's eyes. The Elsa in the picture has exaggerated big eyes with long, curly eyelashes. She is waving happily at Idina, while Anna naturally stands by her side and holds her other hand. The title "Elsa and Anna" is delicately written in highlighter and is decorated by snowflake and maple stickers. Idina loves it. She decides the first thing she'd do when she enters the dressing room tomorrow is to pin it among the innumerable Elsa and Elphaba drawings she have on the wall.

But as Idina starts to fold the picture and put it into her bag, she notices the smaller letters just beneath the title:

"Idina and Kristen."

Idina stares at the childishly written words for some six seconds before hurriedly tucking it in the bottom of her handbag. The troubled thoughts come to her again. Damn it. She just tossed them away with all this unreal drama thing and the weariness ensued.

But all the way "back to reality", something's missing from her nowaday narrative of "what Frozen brings me".