Lauren/You - Love Before Dawn

Chapter 14

After half an hour of complete and utter fun in the water, I finally sat on a small rock that wasn't that far from the group and I thought about how lucky I was at the moment. Camila and I were at the best place possible. I always thought she would be my only friend but look at me today, I gained 4 new ones. Dinah and I had hit off almost instantly and I could see why Camila liked her that much, she wAs extremely fun and made everyone feel better. Normani and Dean were the kind of people that would go under water and scare the others making them believe there was a shark. And Ally was the one that would scream at the top of her lungs making everyone laugh really loud. And then there was Lauren. I didn't know if I could call her a friend. I probably should though since that was all I was going to be for her now. But I would never feel friendly about her because every time I looked at her i could feel my heart coming back to life and burst for her. Every time I looked at her I just wanted to feel her hugging and being afraid of letting me go. Every Time I looked at her I realized that I could watch her for just a second but still found a thousand new things I love about her. But every time I looked at her I remembered that loving someone meant you went what is best for them and thus swallowing the sad reality that sometimes the best just isn't you. And as soon as that thought would cross my mind I would look away, saddened by the accuracy of these thoughts when it came to my relationship with Lauren. But right now I couldn't look away. My eyes were glued on her as she played with Camila in the but as if she felt my eyes on her she looked at me. A small smile creeped on her face and soon she started swimming towards me. As seconds passed and she got closed to me, I felt my heart tightening in my chest as I grew nervous. She climbed on the same rock I was sitting on, its smallness causing our sides to touch. Shivers were sent down my spine but I quickly shrugged it off.
"Why are you here by yourself?" She asked in a soft tone.
"Why are you here with me?" I asked raising an eyebrow playfully and smiling when I saw her smile.
"Am I disturbing you by being here?" She questioned.
"Do I look like I'm disturbed?" I asked causing a small laugh to escape her mouth.
"Do you always answer questions with other questions?" She asked playfully causing me to laugh a little more.
"Yeah most of the time." I joked causing her to slap my arm playfully. We remained silent for a while before she finally spoke. "Do you have a problem with Luis?" She asked making my eyes shot up to meet hers.
"Uhm no I don't. I don't know him." I answered stuttering.
"Well why don't you like him then?" She asked and I sighed.
"I've been told stuff about you guys and from what I know, he doesn't deserve you. He is not the one for you." I answered glancing at her eyes afraid to see hatred but nothing like that, she just seemed very interested in what I had to say.
"How can one's sayings about my relationship can tell you that he doesn't? Maybe they are lying, or they don't have the whole story." She stated making me chuckled.
"Alright then, tell me. The whole story I mean." I declared and her eyes widened.
"I..I mean I wouldn't know...where-" she started stuttering but I cut her off.
"Does he make every atom of your body explode when you look at him? Does he think about you at 3 am when he is alone in bed? Does he misses you at that moment? Does he treat you like you're his queen, his everything, his most precious belonging? Because that's how he should treat you. He should make you feel like the most loved person on earth and the most secure. He should make you feel like nothing can get to you or nothing can hurt you. He should be next to you when you're feeling down and showing you that whoever made you sad just don't realize how amazing you are. He should fall in love with you a little more everyday and he should be grateful that he has you in his life as the woman who shares his life. Because if that's not how he treats you then no, I know he doesn't deserve you. That's how you should be treated...." I hadn't realized that I had gotten carried away by my own feelings for the young girl in front of me. I had gotten do carried away that I let that during the speech I had gotten closer to her, causing that now our face were only a few inches apart. She didn't seem to realize it or maybe she just didn't mind as she looked into my eyes with an amount of amazement I couldn't quite catch.
"She is really lucky." She whispered before finally turning around and facing the horizon.
"Who?" I asked growing, disappointing that she had distanced herself.
"Camz." She answered.
"Why'd you say that?" I asked still not understanding.
"I'm pretty sure that the fact that you are with her makes her the happiest person on earth. You would make anyone the happiest person on earth." She declared and I just laughed making her look at me with a frown.
"Camila and I aren't together Lauren. She is just my best friend." I answered and her lips turned to an "O" shape at my sentence.
"I thought...I thought you guys were dating." She said.
"No we are not. I've never seen her like that. I love her but I'm not in love with her." I declared my smile still on my lips.
"But you're in love with someone." She said and just like that my smile faded.
"It's complicated." I said my sadness very much obvious in my voice. Her hand found its way to my thigh and I couldn't help but shudder.
"You can talk to me." She whispered in a very comforting voice.
"I...I met this girl a few months ago. At first I didn't want to get closer to her but she had gotten under my skin from the second I met her eyes so I did anyway. Within a few days I had fallen for her and luckily she had fallen for me too. We were together and we were happy. But one day...one day she discovered something about me...something that made the way she saw me completely change...after that she admitted that she couldn't be with me anymore...knowing that thing. So I told her.. I told her that if she couldn't see a future for us she didn't even need to remember..and I told her to forget about me..to erase every memory she had of me, of us, and to go back to her normal life..I've been trying to live with the fact that she wasn't mine anymore since that day..." Saying all these things out loud made my whole being ache as it felt like I was reliving those memories I had of her of us. It was until she wiped the tears off my cheek with her thumb that I realized I was crying.
"Have you tried forgetting her?" She asked her voice sweet and tender making me meet her eyes.
"I don't want to because despite all the pain she is the best thing that has ever happened to me. She is what made living worth it. I need to remember that." I answered hating how vulnerable I was at that moment but I couldn't keep the mask up as she looked at me like that.
"Maybe she loves you still. She would be a fool not to, no matter what that thing she discovered about you is."
"Maybe she would still love me if i...never mind, I am glad she doesn't anymore. Loving me without being with me...that would have just broken her heart more. I never wanted that." I whispered.
"I think you should go back to her." She said making me frown.
"Why?"
"Because you should always go after the girl you love, no matter how mad or hurt she seems. In the end she loves you more than words can tell. And no one can forget such a strong love." She said making me stare at her, maybe she was right. Maybe if I had given Lauren more time, she would have found a way to live with the fact that I was a vampire. But I wasn't sure of that. What I was sure of is that I hurt her a lot, I didn't want to do that again. Without another word Lauren jumped in the water and started swimming towards the coast but she turned around to look at me.
"I would have wanted you to come back to me. I would still have loved you." She stated before turning around and swimming. I jumped in the water and quickly caught up with her. Once I was right behind her i dived in the water and swam under her before finally reappearing in front of her making her stop dead in tracks as she saw me. We were really close and I wanted nothing more than for her to remember.
"Why would you have wanted me back?" I asked barely louder than a whisper.
"Because clearly anyone would want to be loved the way you love that girl. If it was me, I would have held on to you forever." She whispered as she stared at me.
"What about my secret?" I asked.
"It can not be that bad." She answered. I could tell she was growing tired of floating in the water so slowly I got closer to her and took her hands before resting them on my shoulders so that she would get some support. Surprisingly she got closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck but also her legs around my waist. We were in some sort of daze. It was like we were alone in this world.
"It is really bad Lauren." I answered.
"I'm pretty sure that if you loved me as much as you said as you described your feelings for that girl, I wouldn't have cared about it. You could have been a freaking murderer I wouldn't have given a shit." She said and I couldn't help but smile.
"I would have left you." I answered causing her to frown. "You deserve the best in the world and that's not me."
"Thank God that girl isn't me then cause I wouldn't have survived you leaving me." She said and I could feel a hint of playfulness in her voice as if she was trying to stop that conversation.
"Yeah Thank God." I stated before letting go of her. "Let's go back." I added and she just nodded as we started swimming back to the coast.
I was extremely confused now. I didn't know if the way she said she would have acted would have been the same way if I let her remember the truth. A part of me preferred thinking that it wouldn't have been because I couldn't wrap my mind around the fact that maybe the only reason that we weren't together was my cowardliness. I'd rather think that she wouldn't have accepted me in her life anymore just like she said it the day I erased her memories. We finally reached the coast and I saw Camila waiting for me with a blanket.
"How did you know we were gonna need a blanket?" I asked and she shrugged. "You didn't know we would be skinny dipping."
"Maybe my super speed helped." She whispered before Lauren appeared before me. I grabbed the blanket from Camila's hands and went to Lauren, wrapping it around her shoulders. The movement caused us to be really close to one another and we both smiled shyly but I didn't let go of her, not until I heard someone calling Camila's name.
"Hey Mila." The male voice causing me to turn to him but still not letting go of Lauren.
"Luke? Hi. It's been a while. We hadn't seen each other in a while." Camila greeted him uncomfortably.
"Since our break up. I moved out of town for a while after that but I'm finally back." He said letting a nervous laugh escape her before he met Lauren's eyes and then mine.
"Hey Lauren. Hey Y/N. It's good to see you again guys." My eyes widened at that sentence. If he left before I then that meant I didn't erase his memories of me.
"Wait you guys met by the past?" Lauren asked shocked and frowning. I was stuttering to answer and luke just looked at her like she was crazy.
"Uhm yeah. When Camila had her accident 10 months ago. You were there. How come you don't remember?" He asked and Lauren's eyes just widened even more confused.
"I didn't-"
"We will talk again later. Right now I kind of have to go." He said while i was just relieved he hasn't said anything that would get me into real trouble with Lauren. It would be easy to find a lie for what he had just said. Lauren walked away as her boyfriend called her name and luke turned around to face me but luckily she was far enough.
"I'm glad to see you guys are still together." He said and started walking away but I grabbed his wrist.
"Listen to me Blondie. Lauren and I never dated. Forget that. I was there for Camila that day that's all. We never exactly met with Lauren, we just saw each other from afar. Got it?" I compelled him since that was the only way.
"Got it." He said before I let him go and he walked away.
"That was close." Camila said from next to me.
"Indeed." Was all I said as I eyed Lauren from afar. She seemed ill at ease with her boyfriend and she kept glancing in my direction but that was probably because of what she had just discovered.
"Do you plan on giving her her memories back?" Camila asked next to me and I just sighed.
"I don't know Mila. My head is a mess right now." I stated.
"Then follow your heard sweetie." She declared and a bitter laugh escaped me.
"You mean that frozen muscle inside my chest that's been dead for years?" I said.
"No I mean the muscle she brought back to life, the muscle she cherished the most months ago and the one she is starting to cherish again." She said making me frown.
"What are you talking about?"
"Seriously? An evening with her and she is already starting to fall in love with you again." She declared but I just shook my head no. "Believe what you want but I'll tell you something. If she falls in love with you in this life too, then I think you should give her her memories back because falling twice with the same person only shows that those persons are meant to be. Lauren and you are meant to be sweetheart. And if that's really the case then I guess you being a vampire won't stand in your way." She declared before leaving quickly. That only confused me even more. Unconsciously my eyes flew back to meet green ones and I was happy when I saw she was already looking at me. I was scared, scared as fuck as to where this would lead me but I loved her and deep down a part of me was hoping Camila was right.

Meant to be? Hopefully.

A/N: this chapter is very weirdly written I admit it. But I was exhausted when I wrote so it's just a bunch of ideas that maybe have no sense but I wanted to give you an update.

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Btw for those of you who aren't, go read One and Only, my bae Hannah is the best writer ever !

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-Katy