Seriously (COMPLETED)

Oh Darling - Final

Depression filling my eyes once again as absolutely no one cares about me. I just ran Phil out me life along with Joe. Dan is just a simple fuck, Joey is only here because I live in an apartment in London. Matty doesn't even contact me even more. Pj is to hung up on Chris to even care about me even more. Niomi was just acting nice anyways. No one actually cares even more. Not even me.

This isn't the first time I felt like this but I do want it to be the last. Only bad thoughts filling into my head as the dizziness fills me even more. Getting up hearing voices in my head again as they tell me to keep walking. They've always been here to help me when I'm down. I don't know why I would shut them out my life. Tears running down my face as I stumble towards the direction they tell me to go. "It's okay Iris we have you now." Saying to me repeatedly cooing me. They have me now.

My feet trembling all over the place as I stumble with my jelly feet. About to give out from the hail that's pouring down all over me. Ice hitting my skull but never hard enough to seep through and break my brain in two. Sadly as I fall to the ground on my knees as I start shake violently. Breathing in and out faster even though I'm trying to breathe in slow. Heart beat drumming faster as I start to crawl over to a door. "You got this Iris we believe in you." The voices in my head saying to me making me get some strength in me. Continue to crawl making my hands bloody as I reach up for the doorknob. Reaching so high making me think my arm is going to fall off. Barely grabbing the doorknob twisting it and leaning on the door to open it.

Face hitting the cold hard stone floor that slightly soothes the continuos stinging on my face. Crawling towards my sink which looks perfectly white which is exactly what I want to be. Ghostly white. Death triggering in my brain as my thoughts flip through ideas like pages of a book. Clouding up my brain not being able to speak as I just stumble upwards making my wrists. Gripping the edges of the sink so hard making the wood dig into my skin. Causing the red metallic liquid of my blood drip down to the once perfect floor.

Looking up at the mirror seeing a girl standing there but not me. But then again who am I really? My blood dripping on my hands with my face super white and a red hand mark on my face. I should have said something back I should have punched him back! But I didn't fight. I'm such a coward and I can't be a coward! Tears running down my face making my face look more cold than it actually is. My eyes puffy with no hint of green in them at all just a dark gray. Gray like my soul and heart that's wanting to do something. Not satisfied with myself or where I am deciding I need change. I need... I need to be gone!

Nodding to myself as the voices agree with me, "Do it." One whispers into my ear as my face in the mirror makes a sinister smile. Grabbing the razor on my counter and putting it up to my neck cutting it leaving blood squirt everywhere. My eyes growing wide as my hand makes the movements to do it just like the mirror. Putting it up to my neck about to do it. "I'M NO COWARD!" Yelling to myself in the mirror.

Suddenly the razor on the floor as blood splatters on the ground. My head pounding as it hits the cold floor hard. Raging pain in my side as I realize weight on top of me. Barely looking up to see Joey grab the razor desperately before throwing it away. Grabbing my hands making them slightly warm from his body her and my coldness. Looking at them with tears in his eyes as he yanks opens cabinet doors looking for something to help me. "Don't move." Whispering towards me with his voice so desperate. Nodding towards him even though he can't see me as the voices try to tell me to move. They tried to kill me! Trying to block them out as I look up at Joey.

Gulping hard I can't believe I forgot Joey was here. Grabbing my hands again softly looking at them as if they are a delicate flower about to break into a million pieces. "This is going to sting." Saying to me as he puts a wipe of my hand making me jerk in pain. Hurting a lot but I guess this is exactly what I deserve. His face showing sympathy as his eyes continue to drip with tears. He shouldn't waste his tears on someone like me. Crying as he whispers, "Sorry." Voice soft as an angel with his face so perfect. Not even noticing until looking down seeing him already wrapping my hands. Putting up the first aid kit and throwing away everything before turning back to me.