Faith (Book Two)

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"I figured you would be a better liar Faith," Hope says, and I look away. Me too!

"I don't want to talk about it this week, I'm still trying to process it," I say trying to play it off.

"Alright then let's talk about your official diagnosis," she changes the topic completely. This isn't a surprise; we've been wrapping up most of her meetings talking about a diagnosis.

"I would like to hear it, I know we've discussed D.I.D and O.S.D.D," I say.

Hope and I have been talking a lot about the differences between the different dissociative disorders over the last few weeks. She did do her dissertation on the collection of disorders and her wealth of knowledge is always fascinating to me. I want to be able to understand my brain and I am so thankful that Cathleen and Aviva found me, Hope, she is patient and so knowledgeable and honest.

"Most people who suffer from D.I.D have multiple alters; hundreds are even possible. It's most common that people have about thirteen to eighteen alters, so the fact that you have one is unique. I presented this case objectively to a few colleges and it was collectively agreed upon that Dissociative Identity Disorder would be your official diagnosis," she says and that sinks in.

"Wow," I say, and emotions swirl inside of me. Relief swarms me at the idea of having one concrete thing to go on, a diagnosis. My hunch was a good one but knowing that this is official and can carve a better path for me to get better on brings me some anxiety but also hope. I want to get better.

I ask Hope a lot of questions and she returns just as many. We're still working my way through the entire story and I know we still have a lot to do. When I finally get up off the couch, she gives me a knowing smile and I tilt my head.

"You have this look in your eye, Ruka warned me about it. She said it was your 'I'm plotting something dangerous look,' Hope says, and I balk. I need to work on that.

"I think your mistaking that for my 'I'm about to do something new and am anxious about it,' look," I say innocently, and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Good luck with your recital," she says, and I make a quick exit. There is nothing she can do if I deny what's going on. Guilt eats at me as I meet Orion outside in the lobby. I don't want to lie to Hope, but we need to finish this business.

"Ready to go?" Orion asks me.

"To California!" I say trying to play up my enthusiasm.

Orion and I walk back to my apartment and I grab my things and he pings Lyle's location for the fourth time and he bounces around. I can tell he is nervous; he hasn't been doing a lot of long-distance teleporting recently.

"We'll be fine," I say reassuringly, and he rolls out his shoulders and grabs me by the arm. A surge of electricity shoots through me and the pain is quick, but I blink, and we are in a large apartment.

"Faith! Orion!" Lyle says excitedly and I initiate a hug. Lyle is stiff but doesn't object. 

"I am so excited to get to hear you play," he says, and I marvel at how tan he is getting. His hair is longer and lighter, but he is still clean-shaven. The top button of his shirt isn't done up and the shock colors my face for him to see.

"You've only been here for a few months and you already starting to look like a local," I say amused and he shakes his head.

"I blame Devyn, I spend too much time with her, and her California vibes are rubbing off on me," he says and the compassion he has for the woman shines through in his eyes. He cares about her.