𝙌𝙐𝘼𝙍𝘼𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙉𝙀, a. knight ✓

eighteen

can everyone please just shut the fuck up about "awsten + travis' slumber party" already? :: june
march 21st, 2020

"IT'S ALL HAPPENING," AWSTEN'S VOICE SAYS THROUGH MY HEADPHONES. And then, a softer, "Shit. Yeah, check. Okay, yeah, no it is all happening."

 And then Travis' voice says "Check," too.

 'Awsten + Travis' Slumber Party.' Awsten's podcast he didn't want me to listen to.

 He and Lucas are in the living room watch Miss Americana to help Lucas feel better. After calling me yesterday, Ivy went almost completely quiet and I haven't heard from her since.

 Weird. I should call and check up on her.

ivy collins

Travis and I continue to watch The Perks of Being a Wallflower and he scratches Kelso's ears the entire time.

 He's wearing a t-shirt that reads "I'm too horny for this shit," and I smile softly thinking about his podcast. He wore it in a picture on his Instagram from when he and Awsten recorded the upcoming season.

 He knows I listen to it, should we talk about it? Or would that be weird?

 Something about him sitting here on my couch during all of this makes something click in my brain and I realize that I can't wait. I can't wait for the whole Lucas thing to blow over to ask Travis out, I need to do something now, while he's in my apartment.

 I realize that I've been staring at him for a while now, and I'm pretty sure he notices, so I look back to the movie and smile again when I see Paul Rudd. I think Kelso and I have a theme going with our movies.

 We end up pausing the movie to make some dinner, and we heat up some more lasagna. After I finish mine, I say,

 "I'm gonna go change into some pajamas, and then I'll get you some blankets for the couch."

 "You're really gonna let me stay here?" Travis beams. "Cause I was just gonna sleep in my car or something, you don't have to-"

 "Travis, if you sleep in your car, you're gonna get fucking murdered. Of course, I'm gonna let you stay here."

 He smiles down at his hands and I get up and walk to my bedroom, shutting the big french doors separating my room from the living room.

 "But if you're going to stay here, I have to warn you," I call through the doors, "there's a very strong chance you're going to see some titties."

 I hear him laugh through the doors, but he doesn't say anything.

 I open the doors back up after I change and Travis smiles at me softly.

 "We accept the love we think we deserve," Charlie says in the movie as I sit back down on the couch.

 "Then, why didn't you ever ask me out?" Sam asks him.

 Out of the corner of my eye, I see Travis glance over at me.

 "Fuck," I curse, standing back up. "I forgot the blankets."

 Travis pauses the movie and stands up as well. "I'll help you."

 I don't move for a few seconds, thinking to myself. "Let's finish the scene first."

 The two of us sit back down and I unpause the movie. 

 "If we watch this Emma Watson movie," Travis begins, "that means we're gonna watch the Harry Potter movies too, right?"

 I nod. "Definitely, Tom Felton is exactly what I need right now."

 "I just want you to be happy."

 "Don't you get it, Charlie? I can't feel that. It's really sweet and everything, but you can't just sit there and put everybody's lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love."

 I glance over at Travis and he quickly pretends he wasn't looking at me himself. My eyes trail down to the print on his t-shirt, and I smile at it again,

 "I don't want to be somebody's crush. I want people to like the real me."

 "I know who you are, Sam."

 Travis glances over at me again, and I look away just like he did. I get up and say I'll get the blankets, and when he offers to help, I tell him it's fine, I can do it on my own.

 I thought I wanted to make a move while he's here, but I don't know how. Do I Just kiss him? 

 Oh, but what if he doesn't want me to kiss him? He drove all the way here from Houston, and I don't think he can just drive back if I do something to make it weird.

 So instead, I get Travis' blankets from my closet and give him a spare pillow from my bed, and go back to finish the movie.

 But right when I sit down again, my phone buzzes.

 A text from June; "call me?"

 "not rn," I send back.

 ":("

 Is she really trying to guilt me into calling her? I mean, c'mon, there's a cute boy sitting on my couch, why would I call her right now?

 "later"

 "ivy :("

 "june i'm serious" And then I send, "later." with a period at the end so she knows that I'm serious for real for real.

 And then I go back to watching the movie with Travis.

 When it's done, we watch the first Harry Potter movie, and then I go to sleep without talking to him about the podcast and without kissing him.

stfu this is a travis riddle fanfic now.