Living in Cavetown

Chapter 3

   "What's wrong, Baby J?" he whispers and pulls a paper pad and pencil off the side table to the couch. I don't really want to talk about it, but it's the least I could do for the guy that just let me snot all over him. I write 'our older brothers got into a fight and I didn't have a say in it until after Chance threatened Jamie. I told him no and feel guilty because Chance is just trying to help.' I left it at that and Tyler looked confused but nodded none the less. I wish I could explain to them, but that would only make things worse for them in the end.

   A few hours after Tyler and I had watched a movie and ate popcorn and other junk foods I'd never tried before, Jamie came into the livingroom. I watched as he moved to the seat across from me and to the right a little. Jamie looked at me with sad eyes and gave me a small smile before speaking. "I guess Jess and I will be headed home in a few hours. Chance said he'd give us a ride home. That okay, Jess?" he asks looking at me. I look at my feet and nod while my hair falls into my face. Sometimes I wish I wasn't only mute but invisible. Tyler scoots a little closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. I stiffen. Jamie has never seen a boy other than himself or our father touch me in any way more than a hug.

   "What's your problem, J?" Tyler says. I can feel myself getting hot from fear.

   "Get your filthy arm off my little sister, little Brance or I'll move it for you," Jamie growled out. I didn't like this atmosphere. This is supposed to be a safe place away from the violence. I can feel myself shaking in fear before I stand up and go upstairs. not listening to either boy calling for me to come back. I will not be the reason they fight.

I have been hidding in the bathroom upstairs for about an hour and no one has found me still. I had locked the door and turned off the light while I sat in the bathtub, just listening to the quiet. Times like these, when I'm alone are the most peaceful. I don't have to worry about anyone or anything when there's quiet. I'll just sit here and contemplate life, and wonder if maybe I should run away. I mean, it's not like HE would care, but could I do that to Jamie? Where wouold I even go? I don't really have anyone. I pull my knees into me and quietly cry. I wish my life was different.

   I sit up when I hear the footsteps aproach the bathroom. Could someone actually be looking for me? I hear a knock and freeze. 'The curtain is pulled. They wouldn't be able to see me if they came in to check' I told myself over and over. "Sweetie, it's me. Are you okay?" I hear Ms.Brance say through the door. I quietly get up out of the tub and unlock the door before sitting on the floor in front of the sink. I look up as Ms.Brance opens the door and turns the light on. She looks down at me and smiles before closing and locking the door behind her and squatting down to my level. I look at her through my hair and she gently pushes it out of my face, but I flinch without realizing it and she hesitates.

   "Sweetie, the boys told me what happened earlier. Are you okay?" she looks into my eyes and looks concerned. I feel a surge of envy and anger wash over me. The Branch brothers have always had a mom, someone who cares about them and doesn't hurt them. I've never had that, even through I have Jamie it will never be the same as a parent that actually loves me. Not since mom died and dad blames me. I nod at Ms.Branch and curl in on myself. I just want to not exsist for a little bit. I hear Jamie before I see him, his wheezing can be heard from across the house if I listened hard enough. I look up and over at him and he nods before Chance walks in and picks me up.

   Ms.Branch stares at Chance with a knowing look and I look at her funny. She sees my face and laughs at it before shrugging and giving me a kiss on the head. Off we go. Back to H*ll. I don't want to go back, but Satan will already be mad about our absence the past almost two days. It's getting to be about 4 P.M. and he'll be drunk and angry. Just great.

   Chance carries me out to his pickup truck and puts me in the back cab before helping Jamie up front. When Chance gets in the drivers seat the tension in the truck feels heavy and sad. I curl into a ball with my seatbelt on as we get closer to our side of town. The poor side with houses needing paint jobs horribly and the sidewalk-when there is any- is cracked and crooked. Kids steal and sell things for food and mothers sleep with men from the richer side of town for rent. No one wants to live on my side of town, but that's what happens when you live off of unemployment and barely make enough for the crappy rent and beer money. I shiver at the thought of our drunk father waiting for us at home. This is only going to end baad and we'll be walking right into fire with nothing to fight back.