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"What are you thinking about?" She asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Nothing." I said with a fake smile, trying to convince her.

"Clint, I know you better than you think I do and so I know when you're lying." She said, raising her eyebrows.

"I was just thinking about what's going to happen when the twins come home, are we going to stay here with them or are we taking them back to the tower?" I asked, I felt bad for lying but I didn't want to tell her what I was actually thinking about.

"Well I'd live to live here at the farm with them but I know that if we do that then you won't be able to see them very often." She said with a frown, making my heart swell as she was taking me into consideration after everything that's happened.

"You're too good to me, you know that?" I said quietly, looking down at the table.

"What do you mean?" She asked, a puzzled look on her face.

"Well even after everything I've done and everything I've put you through, you still put what I want and need before your own." I said.

"They're your children too, and I want to fix this, fix us Clint and we can't exactly do that if we are thousands of miles apart. So I was thinking that maybe for the first year or two we could live at the tower and then move back here to the farm. Don't get me wrong, I love the tower and everyone in it but it's just not got enough space for the twins, I want them to have a big house to grow up in and a huge garden and horses and their own little vegetable patch that they can look after, I want them to have everything I didn't as a kid." She said, getting quiet towards the end.

"They're going to have everything they will ever want or need and more, I can promise you that. Those twins are going to be absolutely spoilt rotten, you and I both know that, especially with Tony as an uncle." I said, earning a chuckle from her.

We spent the next hour walking in the fields, the puppies running around and play fighting as we walked, and as we walked I realised how much I missed being able to just spend time with Abi doing something as simple as walking, but I didn't deserve that now, not after everything I've done. When it got to 9am, we climbed into my truck and drove to the hospital, about an hour after arriving we were loading the twins into the back of my truck in their car seats.

"I can't believe this is really happening, we are taking them home." Abi said happily, looking over her shoulder at the two babies in the back.

"It's happening love, and I can't wait to get them back to the tower, Happy is going to freak out." I said with a chuckle.

"When we get back, I just need to pack a few things into my bag and then we can leave, is the twins' nursery still intact in the tower?" She asked, knowing how prone Tony is to suddenly taking over rooms for his projects.

"It's still there, he won't let anyone touch anything in there because he's so proud of the work he's done." I said, making both of us laugh.

"That's good then, at least we don't have to pack up a few bags of stuff for the twins to take back to Manhattan with us. You stay here in the truck with the twins, I'll be back in a few minutes with my things." She said before climbing out of the truck and heading inside.

A minute or so after Abi disappeared inside, I saw a truck pull up beside mine and Chloe jumped out, I gave her a small smile but she just glared at me and headed into the house. I can't blame her for hating me, I hate me, and I don't think I would've been able to forgive me so quickly either. A sigh escaped my lips before a smile formed on them as I turned and looked at the twins, Madison was asleep but Axel had his big blue eyes open and he was looking around the back of the truck.

"Hey little guy." I said.

He wrapped his fingers around my little finger and a small smile formed on his face as I spoke to him, I couldn't help but smile back at him; he had an infectious smile just like Abi.

"I love you so much little man." I said, stroking his forehead.

A few minutes later, Abi came back out and climbed back into the passenger seat of the truck, putting her bag down by her feet.

"Have you got everything you need?" I asked with a smile.

"Yeah, I'm ready to go." She said, smiling back at me.

The drive back to Manhattan was long and boring; Abi and the twins slept for most of it other than when we stopped for breaks and Abi had to feed the twins. As I drove, I couldn't help but glance over at her every now and then, she just looked so beautiful and innocent as she slept. I made my decision there and then about what I was going to do when we got home, there was no changing my mind about this one.

"We're home love." I said softly as I gently shook Abi to wake her up.

It took a few more times of shaking her but she eventually woke up and we each got one of the twins' car seats out of the truck, carrying them into the lift.

"I didn't tell the others we were coming back, I wanted to surprise them so I'm hoping they're all in the living room." I said with a smile and an excited look spread across Abi's face.

"They're going to be so happy!" She said with a grin.

I watched as the numbers slowly went up as the elevator rose and when it stopped, I took Abi's free hand with mine and we stepped out. Everyone was in the living room or kitchen and it took a second for them to realise what was going on but when they did, they all jumped out of their seats and came running over to us. I pulled Abi into a hug as we watched the team fuss over the twins and get them out of the car seats to finally be able to hold and hug them. It felt good to have Abi back in my arms, even if it was just for a short amount of time because after a few minutes she had to take the twins to the nursery to feed them.

"How does it feel to finally have them home?" Tony asked me.

"It feels great." I said, trying to sound enthusiastic.

I wasn't lying; it did feel amazing to finally have them home and out of that hospital but we still weren't a family and it was all my fault.

"What's going on?" Tony asked, pulling me out of earshot of the others.

"It's amazing to have them here at home but it's still not all how I had planned it, I was a dick and ruined everything. I just feel awful Tony, and I'm trying to fix it but I still see the pain in her eyes whenever she looks at me." I said sadly.

"It's going to get better Clint, that I can promise you." He said and pulled me into a hug.

The rest of the day was spent playing with the twin sister and just getting used to them being in the tower but by 9pm, Abi and I were exhausted so decided to head to bed before we were in for a night of very little sleep. She cuddled into my side when we climbed into bed and I kissed the top of her head before we both fell asleep, the only difference between us was all the thoughts going through my head. The sound of the twins crying filled the room from the baby monitor so I quickly got up and Abi stirred, her eyes opening slightly.

"Go back to sleep, I'll deal with them." I told her and she went back to sleep without any protests.

I heated up two bottles before feeding the twins and setting them back in their cots when they had fallen back to sleep. I walked back into mine and Abi's shared room and pulled my bag out of the closet before putting it by the door and walking over to the bed.

"I love you, so much." I whispered and kissed her forehead.

"I love you too." She mumbled back in her sleep.

I picked up my bag and walked out of the room, not looking back because I knew if I would then I wouldn't be able to do this. It broke my heart but I knew it was better for them if I wasn't around, I didn't deserve this life or to be happy after what had happened.