After Mockingjay: Gale Hawthorne

Part 6

Gale doesn't sleep for too long that night. Wishes that he could just go to Johanna's apartment and hold her again. He knows he shouldn't get attached to her so quickly but he can't help it, he's drawn towards her, there's a constant nagging in his brain that commands him to find her, the only way he can describe it is that he's addicted to her. To her wry smiles and dry humor, to her fiery eyes, her stubbornness and how she always wants to be in control. He smiles goofily. A weird crooked one that he only used to save for Katniss when they were in the woods, ' You look like a madman.', she used to tell him, ' You know you love it ', he used to reply.

He closes his eyes, lets his mind amble aimlessly through the found memories. He doesn't visit them very often. They are always blocked by the sour memories, ones he visits too often. He doesn't remember them very clearly, they seem like a distant event that occured in another lifetime. He remembers the woods, a few blissful moments of peace before returning to feeding his family and the disgust that he felt towards the Capitol and it's messed up antics to be entertained.

He journeys further. Remembers the serene beauty of Madge's face. Remembers when Posey tied the 'friendship bracelet' around her wrist and declared that Madge is her best friend. He remembers how she turned to him and how her smile broadened enough to almost reach her ears, it's pure, for once it reaches her eyes. He remembers how her hand used to brush against his teasingly when he handed her the basket of strawberries. Once they reached the woods, her long fingers would weave through his own, her palm soft against his own calloused one. He remembers the one time when he was sitting with his guard lowered and she decided to massage his shoulders, nimbly making her way through the knots. He had quickly moved away, looked at her with confusion and disdain.'You don't have to be strong in front of me Gale.' , she had whispered. He had let her continue, his shoulders had slumped, his eyes locked with hers and the sun had shone on her, made her blonde hair shine like gold.

Gale admits to himself that he never got over Madge and perhaps he never would. The possibility would always bother him. What if she lived? What if I told her I loved her too? He imagines that they would have stuck together in 13. That he would tell her, they would kiss. After the war they would have gotten married. It always hurts that all this never happened. But Gale is sure that somehow she knew. When she used to look at him there was no doubt in her eyes, she was smart that way, always 3 steps ahead of Gale.

Today Gale admits that part of his heart died with her.

He promises himself to dedicate the party that's left to Johanna for as long as she wants him.

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Peeta comes downstairs to check if Gale is awake at 6 am and is momentarily startled when he finds grey eyes staring back at him, " Morning.", he greets with a raised brow, " You don't look like you got much sleep."

"I didn't.", Gale replies bluntly.

Peeta's lips curve into a smile, 'Talk like that to all our guests and we won't have a party!"

Gale grunts as he stretches his shoulders, " I just need coffee, You need anything from the market?"

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The Mellarks and Gale wait nervously for all the guests to arrive. Peeta explains that they never hosted parties, that this was a first for them. They had feverishly checked over everything dozens of times since morning. Katniss had checked on the decorations, Peeta on the food and Gale had made sure that he had bought enough groceries.

Now they are seated in the living room, the mood is far from happy.

"It's Christmas mom, live a little!", Prim whines.