The Watcher

8. R(umours)

It wasn't until the end of the night, when the bar was empty, and the absence of music left a din in my ears, that I paid much attention to the tension between us.

"Sev, my man, you stink!" Max joked as I locked up behind us. His voice pierced the hush that pervaded the lamp lit street. Far off in the distance, in the part of town that partied until dawn, I could hear shrieks and bouts of laughter. They drifted on the cool night air, disembodied and eerie despite their jovial nature.

"I can't believe you doused yourself on your first night," Amber giggled and from the way Sev's glare darkened I had a feeling he wasn't one for laughing at himself.

I smiled politely as they all chatted, and I finished checking the door.

Sev's eyes narrowed when he saw my expression and in a flash his demeanour changed. His shoulders relaxed and this glint appeared in his eyes.

"You know what, Anna. You look really familiar," Sev started and I felt myself tense. The bunch of keys in my hand bit into my palm.

"We've probably just seen each other on a night out or something," I offered trying to sound breezy while I shoved the keys into my back pocket and huddled into my coat.

"No, I think I recognise you from the school next to mine. Did you go to Eastfield? The girls school up near Trenton?"

I stayed quiet but my fists clenched tightly in my pockets.

"You went to private school?" Amber asked and the surprise in her voice would have been insulting if I hadn't worked hard to distance myself from my past.

"Just for a few years," I mumbled.

"Yeah, I remember you now." Sev's eyes tightened and a nasty smirk spread across his face.

Max looked at me, and I don't know if it was the way I shifted on my feet, or the grin on Sev's face, but he saw that something was going unsaid.

"Small world isn't it!" he chirped up before pulling at Amber's jacket. "Come on, I'm starving."

At first Amber seemed reluctant, the secret hanging in the air too tempting to leave. Her fiery hair crackled with anticipation.

The tension stayed for a second or two, hovering around the four of us. Whispers of revelry drifted up the street as an autumnal breeze whipped around our group.

As if the cold reminded him of his need to get home, Max tugged at Amber's sleeve once more. Eventually, she tore her curious eyes off Sev and me.

"If we're getting food, I'm not going to that nasty burger van again. I swear I was sick for a week after that," she whined.

"Fine we'll try that fast food place by the quayside," Max conceded. "Do you fancy it, Anna? Sev?"

"I'm alright, Max. Thanks," I replied, even though my stomach felt hollow. The cereal from this morning had long since dissipated.

"Yeah, me neither. I've got a lecture tomorrow, so I need to get back." Sev added, taking his eyes off me for a moment to cast Max and Amber a parting glance.

"See you around then," Max called as him and Amber wandered off down the sloping street towards the bright lights of the quayside.

They disappeared from view, and I felt the air around me compress as Sev took a step towards me. My instincts told me to step away, but instead I turned my face towards his and watched him with a cool stare.

"I know what you did," he said in a low threatening voice, that sick smirk spreading further across his face.

"If I were you, Sev, I'd think less about what I did and more about what I'm capable of doing now."

"Pfft please, as if I'm going to be scared of some dumb slut like you."

I grinned, wide and bright, as I replied in my sweetest voice "sweetie, this dumb slut knows the personal coffee order of every law firm partner in this city."

His throat bobbed as realisation started to set in.

"Remind me, what were you studying again? Law wasn't it? Hoping to get a training contract close to home I presume?" I continued. The itch within revelling in the way he squirmed.

"Is that a threat?"

"That depends," I said, my words steady but sharp.

"On?"

"On whether you're prepared to leave the past in the past. If you are, then we have no issue. If you're not, then you might need to rethink your future."

"Fine," he growled through gritted uneven teeth.

"Good," I said as I wrapped myself up and started to head home.

With every step, I felt my composure start to crack and as each piece crumbled away it revealed another sliver of the face that has haunted me. Its name ringing in my head. At first it was just a whisper, but it built in volume with every footfall. By the time I shoved my key in the door I was fighting back the urge to cry. I wanted to scream and shout until my throat ached and my voice was hoarse.

And all I could hear in my head was that name.

Despite the voices chanting it, my inner self couldn't find the courage to say it, so it settled for something more innocuous instead.

Mr Rakish. Mr Ravenous. Mr Ruthless.

Mr R.

My fists clenched as I sat rocking on the sofa, willing the tears not to fall. I'd wasted too many on him already.

My teeth grit together, and I felt my jaw ache in protest.

I pushed myself up from the sofa and clattered around the kitchen making coffee. I knew I should go to sleep, but I could feel the nightmares hovering in the periphery. Lurking in the darkness, just waiting to slide through my subconscious and pick at whatever sanity I had left. I couldn't fight them, not tonight, so staying awake was the safest option.

I sipped my coffee, staring at the dark liquid and my own dark reflection within it. It's the same colour as Mr R's hair, his eyes, his intentions. Maybe that was why I liked it so much. It was like drinking in another little bit of him every time. Filling myself up with him, because being with him was the last time I felt anything other than numb.

"Fuck," I whispered as I swiped a stray tear away with my sleeve.

I suppose, at least I'm not thinking about Book Boy...