Finding Myself Again (Adopted by Markiplier)

Two

Maybe we like the pain, because, without it, I don't know... maybe we just wouldn't feel real. 

The ride to the hospital was a blur. The cops kept trying to ask me questions to distract me. "How's school?" they'll ask, and I would just nod with a blank stare on my face. I have nowhere to live if they die, all my relatives are either extremely distant or dead. I'll be in the system, I can't do this alone. They'll never get to see me graduate, they'll never get to see me get married. I'll be alone. 

The officer who understood me- who I learned her name is Officer Nash, finally told her colleagues that it would be best to leave me alone, so we just sat in silence. My phone vibrated, it was a text from my best friend, Maddie texted me.

 Mads < 3: hey bitch face are we still studying for the history final tn??

Well shit, I completely forgot we were going to FaceTime tonight. I'm in honors history so my grades have to be top-notch. 

Me: no, something happened. can we do it later, tmr maybe? 

Mads < 3: uh sure ig, what happened?

Right as I read her text we pulled up to the hospital, my breathing hitched. The sunflower case on my phone started to get slippery, stupid hyperhidrosis. I wiped off my hands as best as I could and texted Maddie back. 

Me: I'll explain later but I gtg < 3

The car slowed to a stop, I felt like I couldn't breathe. Officer Nash held my shoulder to try and comfort me. There was a slight breeze in the air as we stepped out, the crickets were chirping very softly for a summer night. We walked through the parking lot and stepped in the hospital, the smell of hand sanitizer and formaldehyde in the air.

 "Hello, how can I help you?" The lady at the front desk asked. She was quite old but had a sense of young in her. Her bright red hair was tied up into a sleek bun, and her green eyes showed compassion towards me when she saw the officers next to me. 

"Hi, uh this is Karhli Gaines, and we're here to see Mrs. Ellie Gaines and Mr. Nathan Gaines." Officer Nash told the receptionist. She typed into her computer for a moment and read the screen, "Relation to the patient?" 

"Daughter," I answered for Officer Nash, I hated not being in control of these types of things. 

"Alright, Mr. and Mrs. Gaines are in room 245 C, which is on the third floor, make two rights and then a left and their shared room should be on the left. Now, Karhli, your parents are stable but they have not woken up yet, so be mindful of that, sweetie."

 "Okay, thank you," My voice wavered as I talked. Officer Nash gave me a reassuring look and mouthed 'it'll be okay', I nodded as a response. 

We got on the elevator and slowly made our way up, and down the hallways in the direction that the receptionist gave us. We slowly passed rooms 230-240 until we saw room 245. Officer Nash knocked on the lightly wooded door. We waited for a second, and a nurse with light green scrubs opened the door. 

"Hi, I assume this is a member of the family?" He sounded too perky to be working in a hospital, no one sounds that happy any day.

 "Yeah, can you tell me what's going on?" I asked, hoping to get some answers other than 'in a coma, or brain dead.'

"Both of your parents are in a coma, with little brain activity. They are on life support machines, but without them, they will die. Normally, we would follow protocol and stop the end of life care within a certain period of them being here, but stated in their will says to not interfere with extraordinarily measures until thirty consecutive days of no signs of brain activity." 

Okay, a lot of information to take in, no biggy. "So, there's a chance?" He nodded, "Yes, but it's a very slim chance. Sometimes miracles happen without any scientific reasoning behind it." He grabbed his clipboard and scanned over their vitals one more time. "I'll leave you guys alone, press the blue 'nurse' button if you see any changes." 

He left along with the officers. I looked at my parents, they looked so peaceful. Too peaceful. I noticed they had a soft radio playing in the corner of the room, 'When Did I Lose It All' by Pale Waves was playing, it matched the tone of this god awful situation so well. 

I saw a chair in the corner of the room, so I grabbed it and I put it in between the two grey hospital beds. I grabbed both of my parents' hands, "I need you guys here, I can't be here without you." I started sobbing, and I fell asleep replaying memories of all 16 years that I had with them. Eating donuts in my dad's truck with him at four in the morning, shopping with my mom, my dad helping me with my math homework. It all turned into a dream of nothingness.