But I Admired You

1. Prologue- The Class

Psychology had never interested me that much. I didn't really care how I felt the things I felt or why I felt them. Frankly, I was never moved by strong emotions to begin with. 

I still found myself taking a psychology class my freshman year in college anyway. I don't remember exactly why I did, but I'm almost certain that the only reason I took it was because it was required. I expected it to be one of those classes that I would spend the entire day dreading, then spending the entire time waiting for it to be over. 

I had tried to procrastinate going to this class all morning, taking my sweet time in getting ready and walking around the campus. It wasn't my best decision because when I walked in, the class itself was actually pretty full. The only available seats were in the front. 

I took a seat off to the side, right by the window. Everyone around me was talking and there was no order in the room. There was no one at the front and nothing was even written on the board. The professor was late on the first day. What a good first impression.

I halfway hoped that he would never show up, or that some freak accident happened and he wouldn't be able to teach anymore. Then the class would be canceled for a while, maybe even the semester. 

I heard the door close, a little louder than I expected. My head popped up, my gaze locking on the figure I saw moving out of the corner of my eye. This was without a doubt my professor.

He wasn't what I was expecting out of a professor. I pictured a much older man with a lot less enthusiasm in his expression. He was very lanky. His glasses were a bit too big for him, being that he had to keep pushing them back up with his finger.  His face was very angular, just not in the appealing kind of way. He just looked so frail.

He began writing something on the board behind the desk.

"I'm Dr. Crane, your professor for this semester," he announced. He moved out of the way, revealing his name written in some sort of mixture of cursive and print. It was still legible, at least. "While I'm one of the newer professors here, I assure you, I am very serious about this subject. If you were expecting a generic psychology class, I'm sorry to disappoint."

A girl on the side of me perked up and started talking. "Excuse me, may I say something?"

Dr. Crane clenched his fists and took a deep breath . Nevertheless, he nodded at her.

"If it's not going to be a normal class, will we still have to study?" she asked. He stared at her for a few seconds. 

"It depends," he sighed. "There will be textbook work, but this class will be more example and experiment based. The best way to learn is through doing, yes?"

This was a bit relieving. At least I wouldn't be burdened with reading a textbook every night and copying down copious amounts of notes on a subject I didn't even want to learn about. One less class I had to worry about.

"I apologize for my being late. I had gotten caught up in important business and lost track of time," he explained. "I admire that you at least stayed in the room."

He began writing down more things. As he wrote, his body was still in the way and I couldn't see anything. It might have been my imagination, but It looked like everyone around me had started writing things. I picked up my pencil and pretended to be writing too.

"I will be giving you a brief introduction to psychology, but after that I'm going to skip ahead to the more important subjects. The rest can be filled in later."

By the end of the class, I had actually managed to jot a few things down on my paper. Of course, it was only the first class and there wasn't a lot to write down. So, in reality, it wasn't much of an accomplishment. Actually, the only reason I knew the class was over was because I noticed the people around me getting out of their chairs. My focus must have wandered off, but that was to be expected of me. All in all, the first day of the class could have gone a lot worse. 

I stood up, stuffing the paper into my bag, knowing very well of the state it would be in when, and if, I found it again.