I Can't, If It's Not You

Chapter 22

Date: 25/5/2020

AN: Enjoy!

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"No..I'm not coming back..yeah, I know....I sent you an email after the last time we talked.." Kongpob said as he paced around the bedroom, talking on the phone. Arthit couldn't help but sigh as he entered the room with a two cups of tea. He knew who Kongpob was talking and what this whole thing was about. It was not like this was the first time this conversation had happened in the past fifteen days. Frankly, Arthit didn't think Kongpob would succeed in what he was trying to achieve, not immediately anyway.

"I already explained what I want. I don't care where he has to live or where he's working. That absolutely not the point! I don't expect you null my marriage and welcome him as a partner right away! What are you even saying! My stand is perfectly reasonable and practical." Kongpob said, his tone slightly higher, as he felt whatever was being said at the other end getting on his nerves.

"Nooo, we can talk, video call..whatever you want, as many times as we want, but I'm not leaving, not even 'just to talk', as you put it." Kongpob paused with a sigh. He suddenly felt tired, this conversation was getting very old very quickly.

As he heard the person on the other end, he rolled his eyes even as he accepted the cup of tea from Arthit. "Then Nana, I'm just an hour's flight away!"

Arthit snorted a chuckle. The nerve of his lover to suggest that the great Mrs. Suthiluck could come here to have a face-off if she so wishes seemed surreal. He sipped his tea as sat quietly and watched Kongpob getting more and more agitated. The younger man after a long moment's silence, where Arthit assumed he was listening to what his grandma was saying, sat beside him. Kongpob took his hand and Arthit squeezed back ensuring his support.

"Look, Nana, you are the one who asked me to trust my instincts more. Right now, my gut is telling me to stay here and not leave until things are sorted for P'Arthit and me. If I leave now, and if my Phii has to suffer all alone.." Kongpob rubbed his eyes with his fingers, hesitating slightly, "I won't be able to take it Nana, I won't be able to stand it if I..if P'Arthit suffers like this again, I will surely end up doing something stupid.."

Kongpob sighed again as he listened. "Yeah.. Okay. Yeah, Nana, I know. I'm only postponing those meetings that I can't conduct from Chiang Mai. You know I already met with two of the clients at the office here...Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Bye, Nana."

Arthit leaned up against Kongpob's shoulder as he hung up the phone. The two lovers sat there, cuddling, finishing their tea.

"How long are you going to keep trying this, huh, Kong?"

Kongpob sighed. He had only lately understood how much Arthit suffers from low self-esteem. No matter what he said or did, Arthit was having a hard time believing that for Kongpob he would always be the priority, and no matter what mistakes the Suthiluck heir had made in the past, he would not repeat them.

"Phii, I know what I am doing, okay? I can only give my best if I know you are safe and healthy, and Nana must accept that. She is the one who told me to believe in myself more and right now my gut instinct is telling me that this is the time to act. Time to lay down some ground rules, have a plan on what the next move should be.."

Arthit swallowed, shook his head. It was beyond him to understand what Kongpob was trying to achieve. He was a simple-minded person after all. He was happy just to have Kongpob by his side in these small moments, even if it was just for a short while. He was happy just knowing that Kongpob was his, no matter what he had to do in life. He was happy..happy being like this, being Kongpob's whatever he was in..in secret.

Arthit patted Kongpob's arm gently, "Kong, you know..you know I don't need much..I don't like..It's okay. I understand being you, you have to do things. I am happy just knowing you care and love me, I..I don't want to cause problems.."

Kongpob stood up and started pacing, 'No, Phii! I can't take it. And this, if we stay like this, then what, huh? A few years in and everyone will want an heir. What then? How am I going to pacify them then? I can't even look at her or anyone else for that matter, let alone.." The young man cringed at the thought and Arthit snorted. Kongpob was not wrong, this whole thing will spiral out of control soon enough.

"Kongpob, please sit down first. I know what you mean, and you are right, I just don't see how we will get out of this situation, or achieve what we want without a lot of disagreements and heartaches. Maybe even disappointments that might stay with us all our life."

Kongpob went and sat down, hugging his Phii tight. "I know Phii. I am trying to get through this with a minimum of damage as possible. I know it's not going to be easy, but trust me when I say this is the right thing to do and this is the right time to do it."

Arthit met the earnest eyes of Kongpob and felt something stir in his heart. He realized that maybe he should for once listen to his nong for once and give him the support as well as space he needs to do what he is striving for. Kongpob was, after all, doing this so the two of them could have a future together, a future they can be proud of. 

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AN: Sigh. I am getting there. Please stay with me..

Toodloos!