Shadows of the Past

Chapter 7

"So...let me get this straight," said Poison Ivy the next day, as she, Two-Face, Jonathan Crane, and Jervis Tetch all gathered in Harley's hideout. "J bumped his head again, but rather than going back to J, he's suddenly got another personality as Jack Napier?"

"It's not unheard of in psychology, Pamela," replied Crane. "It's called Multiple Personality Disorder. Though usually it isn't triggered by merely bumping one's head – that seems rather imprecise and unscientific to me."

"Well, insanity is hardly precise and scientific anyway, Jonathan," replied Tetch. "It's irrationality and nonsense. Which is why I'm of the opinion that psychiatry is nonsense, trying to apply precise and scientific methods to something basically irrational and nonsensical."

"Well, the more I'm subjected to being analyzed by psychiatrists, the more I agree with you," replied Crane.

"So where is J?" asked Two-Face. "And when do we meet this other personality? And any bets on whether it's more or less annoying than the last one?"

"I liked the last one," said Ivy. "Y'know, he was kinda rude about the way we looked, but he seemed really sincere in his emotions and his feelings toward his wife. And as weird as it was to see J as a nice guy, at least you knew that one wouldn't abuse Harley. Can't say the same for this one yet."

"Sorry to keep you waiting, everyone – we were just...finishing up some stuff," stammered Harley, emerging from the bedroom and blushing bright red. She was followed closely by the Joker, who spanked her hard again before she sat down and continued to ogle her as he lit a cigarette.

"I like an enthusiastic gal with something to slap!" he chuckled. "In certain, select areas, of course – ain't a fan of fat chicks."

"Oh...God," stammered Ivy, horrified. "He's much, much worse!"

"Practically the old Joker back," agreed Tetch.

"Just in terms of the violence – he's a criminal, but he doesn't recognize the clown stuff at all," said Harley. "But in terms of the lack of moral center, yeah, they're pretty similar. This is also noteworthy," she said, nodding at the cigarette. "He told me before that he didn't smoke, but after his personality shift, he said he had a craving for cigarettes. So it's not purely a mental thing – it can affect physical desires and impulses. And Mr. J can take or leave cigarettes depending on his mood, so maybe his personality is like a blend of both? It's a working theory anyway."

"God, she sounds like a shrink, huh?" chuckled Joker. "Can't say brainy ever's been top of my list in a dame, but if she's any example of a smart girl, I'm changing the list!"

"Harvey, do you have any insight as someone with more than one personality?" asked Harley. "Is any of this familiar to you? Do you get different cravings when your bad side takes over?"

"My bad side's more about releasing my inhibitions," replied Two-Face. "So a little, I guess. Although my good side still craves what my bad side wants – it just won't admit it. But I can't say my memories have ever been affected – I always know what both my sides are doing. I'll just choose one or the other depending on what's feeling stronger that day."

"I sincerely doubt that's what the Joker's doing, since he would never choose to reveal an emotional, tender side," retorted Crane.

"So he has at least two personalities in there with him, maybe more," said Harley. "But I need to figure out how to get the Joker outta him. Obviously when Mr. J was in charge, he kept these all in check somehow, maybe just by forgetting about them. I need him back to take charge again."

"She does like me taking charge if last night's anything to go by!" chuckled Joker. "And just now!"

Ivy glared at Harley. "You slept with him?!" she demanded.