everything you seek is within

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Hours later i was till in my sleeping shorts and shirt. I decided to bath Snoffy feed him his treats and walk him down the park. Although physically taking a walk following Snoffy who is excited to be out after forever, my mind is far lost in the past. Now here i am with nobody. Ally left me enough money to go by for atleast until i graduate. She really saved up a lot for me. If she hasn't i would be out in the streets by now. I had no other family member besides her and we never bothered. I mean after our mother's death all we had was ourselves. Everyone turned their backs on us. I toyed with the idea of looking for them now. But i know Ally wouldn't have approved.

If there is one thing i learned from her is to stand on my own. Sadly i dont even know how to do that. I realised that only now. I lived in the shadow of others my entire life. I always played safe recklessly so. I never got out of my comfort zone and everything i had was handed to me. I never had to work for friendship or anything exept my grades. Getting good grades got me friends i wanted. I didnt mind that everyone gave me their homework and projects. I mean i loved helping isn't that what friends are for? Thinking about this is too painful but i can't help myself.

What am i going to do? Atleast high school is over and am only waiting for my results. I was eager for my results but not anymore. My sister passed away the day after i finished writting. When i think about it, fate was a little nice to me. I mean imagen if i was still writting my final exams. My throught goes complitely dry and rain drops felt on my face. I looked up to the sky and its not even partly cloudy. So its just my tears. I swear if i don't stop crying i will run out of tears for the next year or so.

" Watch your psycho dog." An annoyed old lady said in a rather irritated voice. I jumped from shock to realise Snoffy did pee on the old lady's pot plant she brought out for sunlight. Or whatever reason you might wanna bring a pot plant to the park for.

'' M-m-mm , s-o-r-r-y ma'am. " i said stuttering in almost a whisper. Whipping away my tears with the back of my hand.

'' No dear dont cry, its just a silly dog". She reassured me with a small beautiful smile. If she thinks am crying because Snoffy pied in her pot plant dhe couldnt be more mistaken.

All i did was nod. I'm starting to feel dizzy and to my annoyance she seemed to notice.

She got up from her bench and helped me sit down. She looked at me with soo much sadness and what seems like pity or maybe worry I'm not sure.

Do i look that miserable? I wonder and i feel my whole face go red with embarrassment. I shouldn't be out in public showing strangers my vulnerability. The old lady turned away from me as if she could see how
Uncomfortable i sitted on the bench. Ou and before i knew it i was biting my nails. I suffer from Onychophagia, I always bite my nails when i am nervous or uncomfortable. Yes i do know its unhealthy and blah blah i simply cant help it. I bit deep in my nails until blood came out. To my relief the old lady hadn't turned to look in my direction. Is as if she heard my silent pleas for her to not ask questions and just leave me alone.
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I didnt realise its almost sunset. I get up and call out for Snoffy who came running with soo much excitement.

'' Good bye madam". I said softly without looking directly in her eyes.

Before we could head out the old lady calls out. " Dear can you help me carry my pot plant? I think old age has taken my strength". She said with a smile on her face.

'' Mmhh sure". I said after a moment of hesitation. my brain debated wether to help or not. I mean don't get me wrong i wanna help. I just dont want to be interrogated or forced into conversation. So i pick up the plant and start walking. I hurried way ahead of the old lady. We walked in comfortable silence until the adress the she told me. I waited for her to unlock her gate and as i entered i was greeted with the lovely smell of different Flowers lilies,roses, daisies , jemines some others i dont recognize  my eyes where drawn in by the beauty. There are other plants too veggies and fruit trees.

'' Wow this are really beautiful". I muted out of breath. Its a heaven on earth. My idea of heaven atleast.

'' Here take this dear". The old lady hand me a pot with a lovely white daisy.

I hesitated but she insisted. So i took it and thanked her and Snoffy followed. Before i could go far. The old lady cleared her throught which caught my attention and i turned to look at her directly and i ended up looking directly in her eyes this time. She has beautiful greenish eyes and grey hair but with strands of black. I took the opportunity to study her fully. She wore an Elegent green dress wich compliments her eyes. She does dress fashionably for her age. She is  daintly short and with mesmerizing beauty even at her age one couldnt deny.

She walked up to me and held my loose hand and squeezed it gently. Its almost as if she was reassuring me. Ally always did that and to that thought Tears rolled down my chicks to the sweet gesture.

'' Remember dear everything will be okay. Might be today, might not be tommorow or even the next day after that but one day everything is gonna be alright. Trust it" she said with a warm smile. I nodded and she let go of my hand i started walking home or rather to what has become a pit of hell and Snoffy ran past me.
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We finally got home and as we enter I cant help but notice the quietness that echoed from all corners everywhere in the house. My sister was always chanting a song or maybe blowing the roof off. In her opinion. Ally loved singing unfortunately God didnt do her justice in that department. I burst into laughter to memory of her singing like a dying cat. With the confidence of beyonce on stage. I swear she was illusional or something.

Suddenly my own actions hit me. I just laughed. I laughed.

I quickly ran to my room to find Snoffy tucked on his side of the bed.
" Boy, major news. I mean you dont have to believe me. Im shocked myself but i just laughed. Like really laugh." I said smiling uncontrollably to the thought.
SNOFFY leaned into me wagging his tail high looking at me with floppy eyes. He is happy for me.

"I'm sorry buddy i know i haven't been the greatest friend lately. But i will try ok. You all i have left ou and daisy. That nice old lady gave us daisy. We going to take care of her and you ofcoarse. We a family now. The three of us.

(Longest chapter soo far 1300
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