Evaline | L. Lioncourt ✔

[16] Dilemma

Lestat's thoughts were a wild mess. His mind was crammed with Evaline; her citrus like scent that engulfed him each time she stepped closer, her smile that was so simple yet beautiful that it always left him entranced whenever he caught a glimpse of it, her blue eyes that shone adoringly upon meeting his and her soft rosy skin that he ached to touch with his lips in a delicate lingering kiss. 

And no matter how hard he tried to distract himself, he would always fail in doing so, thoughts drifting back to Eva. No matter what he did, he could not get her out of his mind and he hated himself for that.

He could sense all the signs too well by then, coming to the conclusion that he was getting fond of the lovely tavern maid. And that fondness could end up in falling for her which only he knew how disastrous it could be.

Love had never been an easy affair for Lestat de Lioncourt. He had always ended up falling for the person who either he could not have or did not deserve. And judging by the early signs of such a feeling threatening to bloom in him once again, he knew Eva was the sort of soul that he could neither have nor deserve, making her an even tragic pursuit than those he had had in the past.

For taking her would put her in mortal danger and walking away from her could be the end of him, thus he was stuck at the fork of those two paths dreading to choose either of them.

His past experiences had taught him well enough and warned him not to make the same gullible mistakes again yet the mere thought of her held such an allure that he could not help but wonder how it would be like to hold her close to him without the fear of hurting her, to kiss her mouth without drawing blood and to cherish her for eternity.

Chaotically loud notes thundered from the piano as his fingers collided with the keys, his face set in a strained look, grey eyes struggling as the thoughts rushed back and forth in his conscience. The familiar taste of regret spread in his mouth mixing with his own bitter blood as the fangs pierced the inside of his lips, biting hard in order to feel pain in hopes that it could distract him from her.

He knew not what song he was playing anymore for it had long turned into him venting out his feelings, mostly anger and futility, through the unrestrained clamor of the music. Yet it would be inappropriate to name such noise as music for it hurt the ears and pierced the stillness of the atmosphere akin to the terrible sounds of war and gloom.

The clanging of the doorbell could no longer reach him through the pandemonium raging on in his head that was being translated into clashing sounds through his piano. 

At last his hands landed heavily on the keys as he struck the ending note, chest heaving as he dropped his head forward at the top edge of the piano's fall board. The clamor in his head had not subsided though the din of those chaotic notes had died out eventually.

A slight tapping at the glass pane of the window behind him shook him from his hurtling train of thoughts and he turned abruptly, throwing aside the flimsy curtain to see who had dared to disturb him. He was about to curse but stopped seeing that Evaline was standing outside.

Rather startled, she had stepped back at observing his irritated expression and confusion took over her features. But he shifted the glass pane aside, taking a deep breath to set his face in a neutral expression.

"Monsieur, I had not meant to disturb you. I should leave," she spoke up but he shook his head, holding his hand up in a gesture for her to stay.

He realized she must have rung the doorbell multiple times but he had not heard her before due to the thundering noise he had been wrecking at the piano. "Pardon, chérie," he mumbled standing up from the bench at last, "let me open the door. I apologize for keeping you in wait for so long."