[Twice Featured Noteworthy Novel & Staff Pick on Tapas.io] ✔
[Previously featured on Tapas.io's LGBTQ+ Community collection] ✔
One night. That was all it took for Senn Reyes' life to change drastically--and permanently.
Senn Reyes is a seventeen-y...
"It's not my room!" Senn yelled at her, as he felt the anger burst out. "You don't get to decide when or why I call this my home or not! It's not up to you to decide when I'm ready to unpack my shit. It's not up to you to boss me around or fucking ground me because you are not my mom!"
While Tessa was still in complete shock over his outburst, or his harsh words, or the fact he was about to completely ignore her and the fact she grounded him, Senn pulled the backdoor open again. As footsteps could be heard descending the stairs, Senn descended the steps from the patio into the garden.
"Senn! You stay right here—"
"Fuck off," Senn snapped, grabbing his bike to get away from them faster.
He rode towards the river, because really, it was too dark to walk over the tree and get to the treehouse. He also just wanted to sit still as soon as possible and have some peace and quiet for once.
Without Elio interrupting him on the swing set.
And for about an hour and a half, he could sit in silence and cry without feeling embarrassed because someone could see him. Without feeling like someone would catch him red-handed with tears streaming down his face.
It surprised him he actually was interrupted by Lucas, who silently sat down beside him, and put his arm around him. It was small gesture of support, but in that moment, it was right about the only thing Lucas could've done without Senn feeling the need to tell him to fuck off too.
"Why're you here?" Senn muttered, sniffing, wiping his nose on his sleeve.
"Your aunt called us all to ask if you showed up," Lucas explained. "Sam, Joyce, Avan, Elio, they're all out looking for you."
"And you all got out of bed for that? I'm fine."
"You don't seem to be doing fine, though," Lucas mumbled, sighing deeply. "I mean, I get that you feel shit and all, but... You ran away in the middle of the night and instead of coming to Avan or me, you went here."
Senn shrugged, unsure on what Lucas expected him to reply.
"You're not alone, dude." Lucas nudged him gently. "We want to help you, but you have to let us do that. If you want to scream, yell, or fight, we're here for you. But if you just want to talk or sit in silence, you can call us too."
Senn took in a deep breath, releasing it after holding it in for a few seconds. "I just don't know anymore, Luc. I don't feel home anywhere and Tessa and Dean... I feel like they're pushing me, and they act so insulted when I push them away but..."
"But?" Lucas asked carefully after a moment of silence.
"This isn't about them, or what they want. Right?"
"Right, this is about you, and what you need." Lucas nodded, and he seemed to really agree with Senn, which caused Senn to sigh and smile, feeling relieved. He felt like he was being selfish for pushing them away. But like Killian had said before; nobody could force him to move faster in his process of grief.
"What I need, is to go back in time, because I hate feeling like this, and I don't think I will ever stop feeling like it either."
"But how do you feel? You never really told anyone what it is that you feel exactly. I mean, shitty, yes... But do you feel..." Lucas stopped talking, and Senn patiently waited for him to finish his question. He seemed to struggle to find the right words, but at least he was trying to overthink his words before speaking them out loud.
"Guilty," Senn eventually whispered when Lucas didn't continue for so long it made him feel awkward.
"Guilty, because you were the one driving?"
Senn took in a sharp breath, and with shaking hands and unsteady voice, he replied; "Guilty, because I survived."
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
* * * Guyyysss I loved the amount of comments I got last chapter and each and every one of them made me smile wider =D Love all of u who comment and vote <3* * *
* * * Chapter 14 is now available on Patreon! * * *
Patreon will have more exclusive chapters for this story, so if you wish to read everything, go to my page, find the link in my 'about me' and pledge for 1,- a month! If you don't, you'll only miss out on extra's.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
* * * Heads up/warning for the next chapter; if you wish to google it yourself, I'd advice not to because it's really gross. * * *
* * This last statement will clarify itself automatically ='D * *
