• Bts Angst •

「 taekook 」

And that was it, that was the last thing that had pushed jungkook off his limits. The last thing that had pushed him off the edge. Taehyung really hates him.

Jungkook turned off his phone and tossed it somewhere in the room. He laid back down, crying again. Then he laughs loudly "nobody wants me, they want me dead. They want me gone."jungkook sing songs as he hears voices at the back of his head and then suddenly they were getting louder and louder by the minute.

"He doesn't care. He won't."

Jungkook sobbed and laughed "you're fucking stupid jungkook."he tells his self as he shakes his head and stares at the ceiling "everything hurts."He doesn't even know why but his whole body hurts, especially his chest.

Taehyung doesn't want him.

Day 8
Taehyung was still nowhere to be found and jungkook was still in his house.

Two days left.

Jungkook was still in taehyung's bed. He wondered,

Where would i go after?

What should i do?

Should i live?or just continue to exist?

Jungkook just slept the whole day. And whenever he would wake up, he would find his self crying because of his bad dreams. And whenever he would stop crying, he would be starting to question his existence.

He didn't bother to atleast get up and eat.

Fuck that.

He'd just get up whenever he was going to the bathroom or to the balcony when he wants to stare at the sky.

He wondered,

How did things end up like this?

He misses taehyung so bad.

So he wondered again,

What if taehyung had actually loved me?

Jungkook chuckled and shook his head before sitting up as he recalls taehyung's words. "He told me himself that he won't miss me when I'm gone..he never really answered when i asked him if he had ever loved me..so that means no."jungkook blankly looked out the window and watched whatever what was happening outside.

I'm wondering, am i living or just existing?

Day 9
Jungkook had lost it.

Jungkook had spent the half of his day cleaning and the half crying. His eyes were puffy, his nose was red. It was just sad. He just wanted his hyung, but he couldn't even call him. Because his hyung wouldn't answer. His hyung doesn't care about him anymore.

The next day was the where he'll need to leave.

He doesn't even know why he's still staying in taehyung's house. He knows there was no use on waiting for him anymore. Or even if he stays the next day, things won't change. Taehyung would still hate him or taehyung would hate him even more.

"t-taehyung-ah..i need you..h-here..n-now—r-right now."he cried, he begged, he pleaded.

Currently he was on the balcony, he had already fixed taehyung's bed but didn't bother changing the bedsheets as it was still clean and still smelled like taehyung. Or so he thought.

He even cleaned the whole house.

Now he was just sitting alone in the balcony, crying again. There was no hope and use. Taehyung isn't coming for him.

"I-i thought you said y-you'll be my k-knight and shining a-armour," jungkook cries as he whimpered and lets out tiny sobs from his mouth. He wanted to bang his head on the wall so bad. He even wanted to jump off the balcony. If that could take the pain away he was feeling on his chest, he would.

It was already 9pm in the evening.

He decided that he'll be leaving at exactly 12:00am.

He knew taehyung was probably coming home in the morning. And he didn't wanna ruin taehyung's day so he'd just leave in the middle of the night.

Jungkook lifted his head up and picked up his phone.

to taetae:

Taehyung, I don't know if you'll read this or not. But if you ever do, then please..take care hyung. I know I've been too much of a bother to you, and I couldn't help but feel bad. I'm sorry for forcing you into this. Sorry for wasting your time. But I don't regret a thing, because every moment and every second that i had spent with you was worth it. You'll always have a special place in my heart. Even if you hate me, it's alright. I understand hyung, and i guess I'm just used to it by now. And also I just want you to know hyung how much you really mean to me. I just wanted to say that. One last time, before i go. Take care of yourself hyung and don't forget about me.. I love you.

Sent!

Day 10
7:37am in the morning.

Taehyung was back.

But jungkook was gone.

Taehyung received the younger's message but was only able to read it just this morning he finally got home. It brought him to tears. He was so stupid.

He tried texting back but no avail. Jungkook wasn't replying to any of his texts.

He made a fucking mistake.

Bullshit.

Complete bullshit.

Taehyung still loves him.

And he didn't fell out of love..he had self doubt and anxiety driven over him. That's what it is. He himself wasn't okay. He needed jungkook but he only pushed him away and look where that brought us now.

But he can't do anything now.

He doesn't know where jungkook is by now.

And then he realised. Now that jungkook is really gone. There will be no more goodmorning messages, no more cuddling and hugging, no more phone calls, no more watching of disney movies, no more waking up in the middle of the night.

No more jeon jungkook.

If taehyung had only known realised everything earlier then things could've been different.

He should've told jungkook to stay with him when jungkook had left him alone in his bed to go to the living room.

He should've continued watching zootopia with him.

He should've let jungkook cuddle with him when jungkook had asked him for it.

He should've said yes when jungkook asked him if he really loved him in the first place.

"Would you miss me.."

"..if i was gone?"

Taehyung should've said yes.

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thoughts?